Dahmer vs. Gacy 

The low-budget, kitchen-sink comedy imagines that scientists are hard at work at Project X-13, which extracts and combines the DNA from America’s most notorious serial killers in order to create a “super killer” for military use, but the revived test subjects of the title escape. Says the lab doc played by character actor Art LaFleur (the Tooth Fairy in “The Santa Clause” sequels), in a line that could apply to the film itself, “That’s a horrible idea — it’s just plain foolish!”

Apparently, that’s all part of director/producer/star Ford Austin’s plan. If your mind is jammed in the frame of folly, you’re going to revel in the stupidity as much as "DvG" does.

The script is light and loose (and, I assume, heavily improvised), following cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer (Austin) and clown John Wayne Gacy (Randal Malone) on their individual killing sprees — a hobo, a mime, etc. — before coming together at the end to face one another à la “Freddy vs. Jason,” but with an insult contest that includes a hilarious but unprintable line about a “Donkey Kong” machine, not to mention Gacy busting out the belly-bumps.

The movie also follows a Confederate flag jacket-wearing, “Weakest Link” host-lusting, trailer-trash hick named Ringo (Austin, again), who’s been told to hunt down the killers by God (Harland Williams, “Sorority Boys”), who speaks to him through appliances. 

Serving as interstitial material are on-location news reports by a blond babe (Anya Benton, “Chihuahua: The Movie,” anyone?) who interviews witnesses of Dahmer and Gacy’s grisly doings. The best one is when a restaurant employee relays his reaction to Dahmer eating a fellow customer’s face: “Hey, wouldn’t you rather have a sandwich? Come with a chips and a fountain beverage combo.”

And then, after about an hour, there are ninjas. And not just ninjas, but ones that literally disappear into thin air. Don’t ask — just enjoy. And invite me over. —Rod Lott

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Rod Lott

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