Dark Rising 

2007

Although billed as a horror comedy, Canada's "Dark Rising" is neither scary nor funny. It is, however, haphazard and amateurish. Its logic-challenged story begins "Princess Bride"-style, with an old man telling a tale at bedtime to a young girl. But then the girl, Summer, is whisked away by demons to another dimension.

The film then changes perspective to settle on Jason (Landy Cannon), a douche-y guy recently dumped by his girlfriend, who's decided to play on the other team. He had his friends all go camping, and then these monsters from another dimension show up, as does Summer (Brigitte Kingsley), albeit now all grown up "? and how! She wears a metallic bikini and slings a mean ax  "? all the better for her to lay waste to these creatures, which look like members of the gimmick rock band GWAR.

Kingsley looks fantastic, but that's no reason to slog through this one. She can't act, but no one else can, either (interestingly, she's also the producer). Writer/director Andrew Cymek obviously had some money to make his film, and the effects are better than average, but other scenes look woefully thrifty. Jokes fly like lead balloons, the sex scenes are as out of place as a Democrat in the Oklahoma Legislature, and the general ambience is one of bafflement.

The extras do it no favors, either, with behind-the-scenes footage that plays like one big inside joke.

"?Rod Lott

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