Oblivion

1. It’s from Full Moon Entertainment’s heyday of straight-to-video fare.
2. When’s the last time you saw Siamese twin poker players, identical right down to the eye patch?
3. Andrew Divoff (“Wishmaster”) plays dual roles, including the lead villain, a reptilian green guy named Redeye.
4. Julie Newmar portrays a madam, but basically does it as she did Catwoman on the “Batman” TV series of the 1960s.
5. That silver-eyed Meg Foster (“They Live”) essays the role of a cyborg cop with a Peter Pan cut.
6. Giant stop-motion scorpions.
7. There’s a frog-like creature with fangs who oversees an arm-wrestling match, in which he snacks on the throat of the loser. Them’s high stakes!
8. The sidekick is Buteo (Jimmie F. Skaggs, “Cutthroat Island”) an Indian with a gold headband who says things like, “Ancient Native tactic: Run like hell.”
9. Issac Hayes.
10. Carel Struckyen.
11. George Takei overacts more than William Shatner ever did.
12. Musetta Vander’s barely there black-leather getup.
13. Seriously, her costume — as it were — really deserves one more mention.
14. The end-credit promise of “TO BE CONTINUED.” (Why no double-feature disc with “Oblivion 2: Backlash,” Shout! Factory?)
15. Did I mention the giant stop-motion scorpions?
16. It’s about cowboys and aliens. And there’s no way this summer’s “Cowboys & Aliens” with Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford will be more fun than this, is there? —Rod Lott