OKG Eat: milkshakes 

A lone youth sits atop the roof, Super Soaker in hand, but it’s no use. They keep coming, these boys. The milkshake he made is too good; it brings all the boys to the yard. Please help avert a sodden milkshake apocalypse and get your frosty ice cream treat from these well-defended eateries.

— by Greg Elwell, photos by Mark Hancock and Garett Fisbeck

• Garett Fisbeck
• Grasshopper milkshake with a shot of creme de menthe at The Basement Modern Diner in Oklahoma City, Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2015.

The Basement Modern Diner

200 S. Oklahoma Ave., Suite X

basementmoderndiner.com

602-0111

Whoa! This is a much nicer basement than the one I live in at Mom’s. Bowling lanes? Tables? Bathrooms?! The Basement Modern Diner is the kind of place you wish you could live in. Try its burgers, pizza and sweet, sweet milkshakes, like the Grasshopper, made with Breyers Ice Cream. (Add a shot of crème de menthe for a couple bucks more.)

• Crimson & Cream Cupshake at Sara Sara Cupcakes. mh

Sara Sara Cupcakes

7 NW Ninth St.

sarasarabakery.com

600-9494

Danny: This cupcake is great, but I wish I could drink it.

Sandy: This milkshake is great, but I wish it was more cake-y.

Kenickie: Is this turning into a Grease joke?

Sara Sara: Maybe you guys should share a cupshake. And shut up, Kenickie. No one likes you.

• Garett Fisbeck
• The Lumberjackat S&B Burger Joint in Oklahoma City, Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2015.

S&B’s Burger Joint

Several metro locations

sandbburgers.com

631-0783

What are you legally allowed to put in a milkshake? That’s a fine line the madmen at S&B’s walk daily, especially with The Lumberjack. It starts off like a vanilla milkshake. Then they add peanut butter. And maple whiskey. And brown sugar bacon. And sea salt. Pretty soon, you have a milkshake so manly that trees fall down just looking at it.

• Chocolate Reese's shake of the day at Ice House. mh

Ice House

101 Ron Norick Blvd.

icehouseokc.com

232-6427

We love Ice House for its great Nic’s burgers, crispy french fries and amazing view of Myriad Botanical Gardens. But on a hot summer day, there’s nothing better than ordering a chocolate malt or a vanilla shake. Or check out Jo Jo’s Shake of the Day. Some days it’s caramel, some days it’s Reese’s Pieces. Lord only knows what Jo Jo might come up with next.

click to enlarge

• GARETT FISBECK

Tucker’s Onion Burgers

Several metro locations

tuckersonionburgers.com

286-3331

Strawberry has no idea how it got so lucky. Chocolate and vanilla; those are easy choices. But when the International Board of Milkshakes (IBM) decided on that pivotal third spot, it could have gone to anybody: cherry, watermelon, blue. Somehow, some way, strawberry won out. That’s why you can always get a strawberry shake (and a massive onion burger) at Tucker’s.

• Strawberry milkshake in front of Jimi Hendrix photo, at Fat Elvus Diner in Yukon. mh

Fat Elvus Diner

4 E. Main St., Yukon

354-9702

In 1975, Elvis Presley got so fat that doctors diagnosed him as being two separate people. And that is how ElvIs became ElvUS and opened Fat Elvus Diner in Yukon. How did he get so big? It probably had something to do with a delectable selection of milkshakes at Fat Elvus, such as peanut butter, strawberry, cherry, chocolate and vanilla. (Also, it was the ’70s. Things happened.)

• Butterscotch Milkshake at Sooner Dairy Lunch in Norman. mh

Sooner Dairy Lunch

1820 W. Main St., Norman

soonerdairylunch.com

321-8526

More like the Later Lactose-Intolerant Dinner, right? No. Not right. You can joke about many things in Norman, like its obsession with calling red “crimson” or its desperate need to keep it “weird.” But you do not joke about Sooner Dairy Lunch and its great milkshakes, available in exotic flavors such as pineapple, butterscotch and hot fudge.