The U.S. Senate ain't the kind of place to raise your singing voice, as Oklahoma's Sen. Tom Coburn, a CFN favorite this week, recently discovered.
Like a lot of us, Coburn apparently thought this time the OU Sooners might break their bowl curse and win the BCS Championship Game. Ol' Tom was so heady with confidence in Stoops and the boys that he bet Florida Sen. Bill Nelson that the Sooners would trounce the Gators.
The bet? If Nelson lost, he'd have to sing "Oklahoma!" in front of the Senate and the world. If Coburn lost " and he did " he had to sing Elton John's "Rocket Man."
Why "Rocket Man," you ask? It's not just because Coburn sings it particularly, um, distinctively, but because Sen. Nelson was an astronaut and likes the song.
Coburn paid up with the cameras rolling. How bad was it? Well, we can report that Coburn is exactly the man you think he is when it comes to singing a 1972 song from a gay rocker ("Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone").
Coburn sang the most dog-calling, warbling mess of "Rocket Man" that CFN has ever heard. His rendition sounded maybe a little like Sir Elton " if the singer had recorded the hit song aboard a particularly bumpy space shuttle. Coburn's song went on for a long, long time. That's how bad it was.
In the last few hours of the song, where Elton sings "And I think it's gonna be a long, long time" about 50 times, Coburn ended by folding up the lyrics sheet and saying, "It's gonna be a long, long time before I ever sing that again."
At CFN, we'll vote for that.