Oklahoma woman allegedly threatened by pink backpack-wearing child 

Seriously, have you checked them? They're probably trying to steal your wallet.

What have we been telling you about kids? We've said all along that they are menaces to society, beasts in miniature that strive for one thing and one thing only: total destruction of adults (trust us, we've seen "Home Alone").

Just look at them with their chubby cheeks and boundless energy, always watching, always plotting, always searching for a way into our hearts. And this is what happens. We let our guard down for a few seconds and BAM, they're holding us up at gunpoint and demanding money.

According to an article on NewsOK.com, that's exactly what happened. A 28-year-old woman pulled up to her mom's house (if she's anything like us, to try and get a free meal and maybe make Mom do her laundry) and rang the door. It was 10 p.m., the perfect time for the young assailants to try their heist (when, as we all know, they should be in bed reading a comic book).

Anyway, back to the scene of the crime. The woman was waiting for the door to be answered when she reported that a boy who appeared to be about 10 came up behind her accompanied by two things: an object resembling a black, semi-automatic pistol and a pink backpack. Obviously, the pistol is scary, but let's pause on the backpack. Pink? Like "Hannah Montana" pink or a tough salmon? Either way, the little booger needs to invest in something a bit stealthier for his next nighttime jaunt.

With the gun (not the backpack), the 10-year-old demanded the woman's money, reportedly saying, "I don't want to hurt you. Give me all your money."

When the woman told him she didn't have any money, the little quitter ran away, jumping on a bike being held by a second would-be hooligan and furiously riding into the night probably back to their top-secret clubhouse in Grandma's backyard. The woman later told police she didn't think the gun was real because it seemed too light in his hands. That pink backpack, however, was all too real.

Next time, maybe the would-be robber should just point to his backpack and demand money to replace it.

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Red Earth TREEFEST @ Red Earth Art Center

Red Earth TREEFEST @ Red Earth Art Center

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