Now, decades later, the huge, huge box-office hit has hit Blu-ray Blu-ray! and although I hadnt seen the action-comedy since junior high, its remarkable how much I remembered about it:
every line and note of Ray Stevens cornball theme song;
Burt Reynolds mugging at the fourth wall;
DeLuises Captain Chaos superhero garb;
Adrienne Barbeaus spectacular Spandexed cleavage;
this funny-looking fighter fellow named Jackie Chan;
Roger Moore spoofing his James Bond self;
M-M-M-Mel Tillis and Terry Bradshaw, this films Abbott and Costello, driving their car into a motel pool;
Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr., this films Martin and Lewis, disguised as priests and making Catholic jokes that sailed over my head;
Jamie Farr, aka Klinger from M*A*S*H (then my favorite TV show), playing a (certainly offensive today) Arab sheik who admires a waitress breasts as he makes a milk reference;
Farrah Fawcett, still not doing it for me (sorry, but I was a Jaclyn Smith boy)
Bert Convy singing Ive Gotta Be Me as he skydives;
those creepy, creepy, creepy eyes of Jack Elam; and
cars I would never be able in my wildest dreams to afford.
With all that, whats more remarkable is what I failed to remember:
how utterly stupid it is: so stupid, its stoopid.
And yet, it retained an undeniable magnetic power as I revisited it. Like a car wreck um, yeah I couldnt look away. Not only does Cannonball Run deplete brain cells, but it harms Blu-ray technology, too, threatening to downgrade your player into ye olde DVD.
Speaking of, heres an argument against beyond-VHS technology: commentary from director Hal Needham. The guy sounds like one of those overly friendly cashiers who wish to engage you in conversation about the weather or a goiter or what-have-you. He and producer Albert S. Ruddy (The Godfather let that soak in for a minute) are quite chummy, but a little too close to their work, thinking it funnier than it is.
Strangely, thats the only special feature on the disc. One wishes 1984s Cannonball Run II were also present for a glutton-for-punishment double feature. Or, heck, why not a full-franchise trilogy with 1989s abortive Speed Zone? Because I am a glutton for good-natured punishment. Anyone else who has Cannonball Run memorized can empathize, right? Rod Lott