Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing. 

click to enlarge Grilled short rib rice platter at B&B Wok, Noodles and Moore.  mh
  • Grilled short rib rice platter at B&B Wok, Noodles and Moore. mh

Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.

Whether you’re playing football on the tennis court, staring down the receptionist during an all-staff meeting or just eating lunch, it’s important to always win. Quitters never win, you know. And winners never quit eating.

So, if you’re looking to dominate the competition, take your “friends” with you to a restaurant called B&B Wok, Noodle and Moore, 1615 S. Interstate 35 Service Road, in Moore.

1. Be the first through the door. This is a power move. It shows them you have enough upper body strength to open a door. If one of them beats you to it, you can either:

a. Turn around and leave — also a power move.

b. Say, “That’s OK. I don’t even like opening doors” to let everyone know you actually won that interaction.

2. Don’t even touch the menu when it arrives. Expect to hear some murmuring at the table.

“Harumph, harumph! Does she own this restaurant? Why doesn’t she need a menu?” or “Mumble, mumble, he certainly is asserting his power.”

How will you know what to order? Because I’ll tell you what to order right now. (2.5. This is the ultimate power move, and it’s in a newspaper, so good luck finding a comeback to this one, Antonio!)

3. Order the kimchi fries ($6.49). Don’t break eye contact with your dining companions until they arrive. This can be tricky if you are in a group of five or more. Once the plate of fries arrives, covered in sweet sauce, spicy kimchi and crunchy green onions, only make eye contact with the food. Do not share willingly. If anyone reaches in, growl at him or her and continue eating.

4. Order the Bulgogi ramen ($9.49). When the waitress asks how hot you want it, say, “Eleven,” but then whisper “Only a three!” at her, because you don’t want to die. Aggressively slurp the noodles and eat the sweet, tender bulgogi beef with chopsticks. Anybody at the table who uses a fork gets a withering stare. Continue until they wither away to nothing and take their food.

5. Order the Sizzlin’ Galbi ($12.99). Try not to swallow the bones on the short ribs (aka galbi), but if you do, act like you needed marrow and don’t choke. Enjoy as everyone oohs and aahs at your delicious plate of food with rice and kimchi and pot stickers. Stop using utensils and eat with your hands. Power move!

6. Don’t order the pho (small for $5.99, medium for $6.99, large for $7.99). Not because it isn’t good — it’s fine — but because there’s so much more on the menu. Remember to pronounce it “fuh” and then start mispronouncing your friends’ names to let them know you don’t care about them.

7. Order the Chicken on the Stick platter ($7.99) and the egg roll vermicelli bowl ($7.99). “Gee, Greg, this seems like a lot of food.”

click to enlarge Bowl of Bulgogi ramen at B&B, Noodles and Moore, in Moore of course.  mh
  • Bowl of Bulgogi ramen at B&B, Noodles and Moore, in Moore of course. mh

You think I don’t know that? This is about P-O-W-E-E-R. (The second E is for extra power.) Your enemies must know that your appetite is insatiable. Also, the chicken on the stick is lightly seasoned, grilled nicely and tastes great over rice. The egg roll vermicelli bowl is filling, with tons of tender noodles, crunchy lettuce and a gloriously deep fried egg roll chopped up on top. Pour on that little bowl of orange liquid. It tastes like power.

8. Offer to pay for everyone’s lunch. If people let you, they are yours, puppets you can control. If they don’t, whew, that’s good, because you are a little low on cash right now. Bills, man. Bills.

Aren’t we all winners if we eat at B&B Wok, Noodle and Moore? Probably. Because the food is good and the price is nice. But it’s important to be more of a winner — or Moore of a winner. See what I did there? I just won this review.

Print headline: Power eating, We’re all winners when we visit B&B Wok, Noodle and Moore. It’s in — you guessed it — Moore.

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