When conservatives attack 

Credit: Brad Gregg

So whether the latest dust-up between two of the state’s most arch-conservative groups is the culmination of a “divide and conquer” strategy by the chamber crowd, a genuine disagreement or just petty ego-tripping is hard to say.

Whatever is behind it, the latest spat between Sooner Tea Party head Al Gerhart and Oklahoma Conservative Political Action Committee leader Charlie Meadows could teach pro rassling a thing or two about entertainment.

One of the first public shots came in the form of Meadows’ July 10 newsletter, which called Gerhart “a delusional spin doctor” who wrongly took credit for a Tulsa World story about the power of Oklahoma’s tea party.

Mockingly calling Gerhart “Super Al” for his perceived prowess at politics and electioneering, Meadows wrote that Gerhart did not support some important events for the right, and the ones he did try to organize were flops. Meadows also dubbed Gerhart an “ineffective troublemaker” who was “the kiss of death” for many conservative efforts.

“Going forward, may I suggest a piece of wisdom,” Meadows wrote. “Don’t get between Al and a reporter, TV camera or radio microphone, as you might get run over.”

That prompted Gerhart to shoot back in his July 15 Sooner Tea Party email newsletter.

“When you meet Charlie for the first time, a demented Santa Clause (sic) comes to mind,” Gerhart wrote, “perhaps the spawn of a demented Santa Clause (sic) that raped the Church Lady of Saturday Night Live fame, and she might have had a sour pickle in her mouth at the time she became ‘in a family way.’” Whoa. You mad, bro?

Gerhart went on to write that Meadows is partially to blame for breaking up an alliance of several state conservative groups and that the OCPAC leader has lost much of his influence.

Moreover, Gerhart wrote that his group has “spanked Charlie’s fat butt” on some issues, and — when one Meadows-supported bill was killed by Sen. Anthony Sykes — essentially forced Meadows into the Ned Beatty role in Deliverance: “overall straps down, with Sykes bending Charlie over the table at an OCPAC meeting whilst Charlie squealed like a pig of his ‘disappointment’ in Sykes behavior, bless his heart.”

All that aside, the tea party scribe concluded with some comforting words for Meadows. Well, sorta.

“Now, give old Sykes a backward kick, pull up your overalls, and join the rest of the conservative activist movement in doing something constructive rather than attacking a group that is successful,” Gerhart wrote. “Jealousy is a womanly attribute, Charlie. If you aren’t better than that you aren’t much of a man much less much of a Christian.”

With that, we cue the music, preferably Elton John’s “Can You Feel the Love Tonight.”

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