Creeps of the world, we have a tip for you: Get a new shtick. That ol' "who wants candy" meme? Tired.
Just wanted to get that helpful PSA (pervert service announcement) out there. Now, on to the show.
From a report by NewsOK.com comes the tale of a 44-year-old dude recently arrested on a complaint of disorderly conduct. He was found one recent morning walking around Goodholm Park " or, as he put it, "doing his morning exercises" " while carrying a purse and wearing high heels. Oh, and also carrying what police reported as a large wooden stick.
We're fine with the heels and purse " after all, everyone wants to look their best " but a big stick? Nothing good every comes from that, unless the suspect was following the advice of Teddy Roosevelt.
But wait, there's more! His morning "exercises" also apparently included trying to give children candy if they answered correctly "academic questions." We don't think we want to know what those "academic questions" entailed.
Either way, when police searched him, they found nary a Jolly Rancher. But they did find an air pistol. What, the stick wasn't enough?
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