Gazette staff

Here you have it ” another reason not to leave your house in the morning: injury by “falling space debris.”   A Tulsa woman holds the dubious record of being the only person ever to have been hit by CFN-coined “FSD,” according to a recent report in The Oklahoman, coinciding with the United States’ shooting […]

In case you’re keeping track (and CFN is), you can add President George W. Bush to the list of politicians with whom Sen. James Inhofe disagrees. According to an interview with The Norman Transcript, the Tulsa Republican hasn’t agreed with the commander in chief several times recently. And we’re not talking about arguing with Bush […]

In case you’re worried about getting hit by FSD from the nonfunctional National Reconnaissance Office ” or NRO ” satellite shot down last week, Sen. James Inhofe issued the following statement to the CFN World Headquarters:   “I commend the men and women of the United States military, especially the sailors aboard the U.S.S. Lake […]

We haven’t trusted a plant since our childhood days, watching Saturday-afternoon airings of the Sixties sci-fi film “The Day of the Triffids,” and now a new report from Mother Earth News suggests our suspicions may be justified.   An article titled “The Weed from Hell” discusses the “killer” weed known as the tropical soda apple. […]

Hey, Kelvin Sampson; the phone is ringing. It’s the NCAA.   Less than two years removed from his men’s head basketball coaching duties at the University of Oklahoma, Sampson finds himself in trouble at Indiana University for the same reasons.   Last week, the NCAA released a report listing five major violations against Sampson. The […]

Oklahoma City’s attempt to slim its waistline is still making headlines, even after Mayor Mick Cornett’s appearance on “Ellen.”   The Baltimore Sun reports our fearless leader is in talks with Taco Bell executives about potentially co-promoting a so-called “fresco” alternative ” think tomato-based ” as opposed to fixings of guacamole and sour cream.   […]

What a flap, Jack.   A man was arrested by Oklahoma City police last week after he found his flapjacks lacking, according to a story by KWTV Channel 9.   According to police reports cited by KWTV, Jacob Andrew Laws, 28, was upset about his pancakes and started a breakfast brawl with his wife. The […]

We at Chicken-Fried News are scratching our heads. The 2008 legislative session has only just begun, and already a voice of reason can be heard from our wise lawmakers at 23rd Street and Lincoln Boulevard.   A House subcommittee recently passed a proposed bill that would limit insurance awards for uninsured motorists, according to The […]