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Andres Vasquez, 20, of Verona, Ky., initially told the 911 operator in May that someone had “thrown” his truck on top of him, but he finally admitted he was drunk, had had a one-vehicle accident, was trapped upside-down and was in dire pain, fading in and out for over two hours to the dispatcher. The […]

St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock was killed in an April car crash after he collided with a stopped tow truck on Interstate 64 in the middle of the night, and according to a police report, Hancock was intoxicated, speeding, un-seat-belted, and talking on his cell phone at the time. Nonetheless, in May, Hancock’s father […]

Lame: Jonathan Powell, 17, was convicted in April of sexually assaulting a college student in Iowa City, Iowa, after his DNA was found in several places on her body. Powell explained the DNA by claiming that he had merely bumped into the woman accidentally while jogging and had become so “entangled” with her that he […]

The escalating value of the late Italian artist Piero Manzoni’s canned feces was chronicled in News of the Weird in 1993, 1998, 2002 and 2004, but now in June 2007 his former colleague Agostino Bonalumi told a reporter that the project had been a hoax and that Manzoni had merely filled the cans with plaster. […]

Police in Guelph, Ontario, were on the lookout in May for the man they thought responsible for three incidents in which someone approached a woman and asked that she kick him in the groin. A police spokesman said no crime had been committed, but that they are “concerned.” In New York City in June, Frank […]

A 54-year-old man was killed while running to catch his bus in Greater Manchester, England, in May; he accidentally ran smack into a lamppost and fell into the street, where the bus ran over him. Police in Los Angeles said in May that they believe a 21-year-old man deliberately parked his car on railroad tracks, […]

In May, the inept Christopher Emmorey, 23, was sentenced to two years in prison for robbing a Peterborough, Ontario, bank, from which he had intended to take $2,000. However, the teller said she could only give him $200 and also must take out a $5 fee because Emmorey is not a regular customer. Emmorey stood […]

In May, a woman in Jacksonville, Ill., reported the theft of a bong from her house; she told police that she valued it because it belonged to her son, who is in prison, and it is all she had to remember him by. The sheriff’s office in Clyman, Wis., reported that a man called 911 […]

Thomas Wimberly, 74, was arrested in July 2006 for stealing two hot dogs (value: $2.11, including tax) from a Quik Trip convenience store in Wichita, Kan. (though he said he had merely forgotten to pay). Because it was Wimberly’s third misdemeanor theft charge, Kansas law required that the count be upgraded to a felony. Wimberly […]

In May, “more than 300 people” in Augusta, Ga. (according to the Augusta Chronicle), assembled at the Municipal Building explicitly to pray for the city, following weeks-long controversies on the city commission. In June, “more than 300 people” in Destin, Fla. (according to the Northwest Florida Daily News), assembled at the Destin Worship Center and […]