FEBRUARY: Ditched his constituents during an extreme and dangerous cold snap to vacation in New Mexico. Even though he got caught, it didn’t stick to him as well as it did to Ted Cruz, but we’d like to remind you going into this election year. MAY: But hold his beef. Kevin did his part to […]
Chicken-Fried News
Chicken-Fried News
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Chicken-Fried News: Like a teenager doing laundry for the first time stubbornly refusing to admit that dumping bleach on a load of colorful clothing was an accident,
Like a teenager doing laundry for the first time stubbornly refusing to admit that dumping bleach on a load of colorful clothing was an accident, the Oklahoma County government has refused for decades to cop to the fact that the sewage-filled hellhole that serves as our county jail should just be torn down and rebuilt. […]
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Chicken-Fried News: As Halloween approached…
As Halloween approached, if you looked to the skyline in the city core, you could see an eerie green light emanating from downtown Oklahoma City. Concerned that the city might be ground zero for an alien invasion, concerned residents (or just one) raced towards the source of the light only to find that it’s only […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Oklahoma’s back in the headlines again, this time for being America’s champion horse paste eaters.
Or maybe not. “As the story ran, it sounded like all of Oklahoma hospitals were filled with people who have overdosed on ivermectin and that’s not the case … The cases we are seeing, people who are overdosing on ivermectin, they are taking full-strength cattle doses and coming in and that is something that could […]
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Chicken-Fried News: So sick of talking about Kevin Stitt. So sick of it.
Henceforth, Chicken-Fried News will no longer be referring to him as “Governor” or even “Gov.” when we address him, because though he may have won that title, he certainly hasn’t earned it. To us, he’s just Kevin now. And, oh, Kev…. Here’s a guy who lacks such self-awareness that he decides to uproot a functional […]
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Chicken-Fried News: We get high, they go low
Sen. Jim Inhofe, being 100 percent on-brand as the out-of-touch legacy politician that only the Republican Party can breed (seemingly with family members), rolled out his “newest” pet project: securing billions of tax dollars to fight … eye roll please … illegal weed. Medical cannabis is legal in this and 36 other states. Recreational use […]
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Chicken-Fried News: There’s an empty throne in the palace of The Tiger King
Joe Exotic, which is how he will forever be known henceforth because nobody can keep up with his changes in last name, is apparently back on the market. After announcing his divorce from Dillon Passage this spring, he announced on the 4th of July that he is opening up applications for “The Bachelor King.” “Dillon […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Even though — per capita
A “That marijuana possession is legal in Oklahoma for those who are issued a valid medical marijuana license does not change the fact that marijuana possession otherwise is generally a crime in Oklahoma. Several states have determined that decriminalization of marijuana does not equate to blanket legalization and thus, the odor (or presence) of marijuana […]
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Chicken-Fried News: With the state’s unemployment numbers fluctuating wildly,
Which is to say, as little as required by their gerrymandered laws. “We are pleased to report that the unemployment rate for Oklahoma fell to 4 percent for May 2021 … Pre-pandemic in February of 2020 the state’s unemployment rate was at 3.1 percent. This indicates there is still room for improvement in helping people […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Edmond may have just elected its first black mayor, but some residents are apparently still pining for the days when it was a sundown town.
A reading of the proclamation for the first recognized Pride month in the city by Mayor Darrell Davis was interrupted by Karen … errr … Cheryl Williams. “I am deeply offended because someone on this council felt like he could speak for all of you without your vote and most likely without your input and […]