Recurring Themes
An exceptionally cold winter brings more instances of the annual tragedy of young boys (rarely, girls) who could not resist the age-old physics experiment to see what would happen if, in sub-zero temperatures, they tried to lick a metal pole. In fact, it happened on successive days: a 10-year-old in Hammond, Ind., on Jan. 14…
Grudges
Marie-Eve Dean, 23, was ordered into intensive therapy in December by a judge in Ottawa, Ontario, after her conviction for mischief in making more than 10,000 crank phone calls to the city’s 911 line, apparently just to protest the legal system’s treatment of her former brother-in-law in a child-custody case. A South Korean man identified…
Being There: Deluxe Edition
1979 Peter Sellers is perhaps best remembered for his umpteen appearances as Inspector Closeau in the “Pink Panther” franchise, but I’ll always have a fond place for him in my heart for “Being There.” He has the role of a lifetime — and an Oscar nod —? in Chance, a simple-minded gardener whose life is…
Least Competent Criminals
Not Ready for Prime Time: In January, police in Cape Coral, Fla., were seeking LaKeitha Watson-Atkinson for shoplifting from a TJ Maxx. The thief escaped after running from store security, but not before she was knocked down twice by her getaway car. In the commotion, a check made out to Watson-Atkinson fell to the ground.…
His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th
2009 It goes without saying “? but I’m saying it anyway “? that fans of the “Friday the 13th” film franchise should buy “His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th” sight unseen. It’s a feature-length documentary that lovingly covers all 12 movies in the series, including the current remake. It begins with…
Creme de la Weird
Among the medical oddities mentioned in a December Wall Street Journal roundup was “Jumping Frenchmen of Maine Disorder,” in which a person, when startled, would “jump, twitch, flail their limbs and obey commands given suddenly, even if it means hurting themselves or a loved one.” It was first observed in 1878 among lumberjacks in Maine…
Oklahoma County is wrong … again
Here we go again. The powers that be in Oklahoma County have determined the taxpayers are going to have to foot the bill of a new detention center, to the tune of millions of dollars. I can hear the reasons: The jail is overcrowded, the federal government is going to take over the jail, or,…
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
A substantial fraction of the world’s scientists are funded by the military. This saddens me. I wish we lived on a planet where most scientists were in service to peace and plenty, working to solve social and environmental problems. But corrupt exploitations of the scientific method are no excuse for me to banish it from…
Firehouse Art Center presents annual Chocolate Festival
The Firehouse Art Center’s 27th annual Chocolate Festival is “choc”-full of sweet treats from local restaurants and vendors. The event, 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday at Norman North High School, 1809 Stubbeman in Norman, attracts thousands of visitors each year and features 34 chocolate vendors, including La Baguette Bakery and Caf
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
“Everything has been figured out, except how to live,” sneered the existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre. That’s not completely true, of course, which he might have discovered had he not closed his dogmatically cynical mind to the countless humans (many unknown to history) whose lives have been great works of art. Starting from these thoughts, Libra,…
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
Born in 1822, my great-great-great grandfather Edward Dembowski was a bohemian philosopher and columnist who led a revolutionary struggle to liberate Poland from plutocrats and foreign occupation. A feminist long before most European men entertained the issue of women’s liberation, he edited a journal that was the main organ of the “Enthusiasts,” who fought for…
Norman Music Festival announces headliners
Indie-pop band Of Montreal will join Starlight Mints as headliners at this year’s Norman Music Festival, organizers announced last week. In a posting on the festival’s Facebook page, organizers said the Athens, Ga., band has “been around for many years, and have played Norman a few times in the past.” “There’s a reason why they’ve…
Recruiting process can be pressure-filled for prospects
Calls at all times of the day and night. Text messages that pile up by the dozens. Letters from coaches, information packages from schools and e-mails from just about every scouting service known to man. The pressure can be immense. SOUGHT-AFTER RECRUITS RINGING PHONE Such is the life of a high-profile high school football prospect…
The Appleseed Cast ends a yearlong break with Opolis show
After a nearly yearlong road respite, indie-rock darlings The Appleseed Cast have readied a return punctuated by a new direction, album and rhythm section. Today’s 9 p.m. show at Norman’s Opolis is the first on Appleseed’s spring tour. Singer/guitarist Christopher Crisci said half of tonight’s 14-song set is comprised of material from the band’s upcoming…
Trio runs for open Oklahoma City Public Schools Board of Education seat
An election is scheduled for Feb. 10 to fill three positions on the Oklahoma City Public Schools Board of Education. Board chairman and District 1 and 2 are the open, four-year positions. SHERRY BARTON CORDELL JORDAN LYN WATSON In District 1, three candidates square off for the seat: Sherry Barton, Cordell Jordan and Lyn Watson.…
New in Town
“New in Town” is representative of a type of comedy that, in its blatancy, is well past retirement age. And speaking of which, star Ren
Oklahoma City Museum of Art presents ‘Oscar Tune-Up’
The Oklahoma City Museum of Art is providing a unique way to prepare for Hollywood’s biggest night. The museum hosts the seventh annual “Oscar Tune-Up” throughout February in its Noble Theater, 415 Couch. Movie lovers can view some of last year’s most talked-about films, nominated in more than a dozen categories, including best acting, screenwriting,…
Mallseum
The decline of the giant shopping mall is in full swing. There are 1,100 shopping malls in the US, and they are not doing so well. Crossroads Mall, which is now without a single anchor store, will soon confront the challenge of other aging malls: How to make money when stores and people don’t want…
Man purchases MP3 player in Oklahoma City containing secret military files
A man who purchased a secondhand MP3 player at a local thrift store discovered 60 secret military files detailing private information on soldiers and equipment deployment to bases. Chris Ogle bought the MP3 player at an Oklahoma City Goodwill while visiting the metro, KOCO-TV reported Jan. 27. After plugging it in to his computer, Ogle…
As conspiracy theories abound in Oklahoma, John Birch Society, others rally
The crowd in the banquet hall at the Character Conference Center, housed in an old Holiday Inn in downtown Oklahoma City, sat packed, rapt with attention as Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City, told them she’d found it: the gay agenda. KERN SPEAKS JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY FALSE FLAG Kern said the agenda is in…
Religulous
2008 I’m not a fan of Bill Maher, but I very much rooted for him throughout “Religulous,” a ballsy and very funny documentary directed by “Borat”‘s Larry Charles. A product of a Catholic/Jew household, Maher is a nonbeliever today, but travels the world to find out why people believe what they believe “? in particular,…
Norman exhibit highlights turn-of-the century Western art
it Red: Visions of Native American Artists from the Rennard Strickland Collection” will be on display this summer. “?Cher Golding
Oklahoma City school district claims a $40 million budget shortfall on the 2007 bond issue
Oklahoma City Public Schools superintendent Karl Springer and school board chairman Kirk Humphreys are unveiling a plan this week to shore up what they say is a $40 million shortfall in the 2007 bond issue. The attempted solution involves tapping into unused bonding capacity and extending the maturity of the school bonds. THE ‘SILO’ EFFECT…
Oklahoma boasts more ousted governors than Illinois
If you’re anything like us here at Chicken-Fried News, you’ve been fascinated these last few weeks the magical hair forest growing atop Rod Blagojevich’s head. Seriously, what sort of maintenance does that luscious, buoyant beauty require? But, we digress. The ousted and disgraced former governor of Illinois, who was recorded allegedly trying to sell Pres.…
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
I was watching a martial arts competition on ESPN TV. It featured a fierce macho dance-off, in which rivals took turns brandishing their high-octane warrior choreography. At one point the announcer waxed poetic as the eventual winner pulled off a seemingly impossible move: “And that was a corkscrew illusion twist rodeo spin!” In the coming…
Kirk Humphreys faces Angela Monson for OKCPS chairman
Two candidates will face each other in a Feb. 10 election to determine the next chair of the Oklahoma City Public Schools Board of Education. KIRK HUMPHREYS ANGELA MONSON Kirk Humphreys, the former mayor and current chairman, took over the position when Cliff Hudson resigned the post last year. Angela Monson, his opponent, is a…
Cultural Diversity
The Rental Society: Among the services available by the clock in Japan (according to a January BBC dispatch) are (1) quality time with a pet (about $10 an hour at the Ja La La Cafe in Toyko, usually with dogs or cats but with rabbits, ferrets and beetles available); (2) no-sex quality time with a…
Questionable Judgments
Political Correctness Update: In November, the student association at Carleton University in Ottawa, Ontario, voted to eliminate a cystic fibrosis organization from the list of charities it supports, explaining that since the condition almost exclusively afflicts white people, it was not “inclusive” enough to merit student funding. In December, Britain’s Oxford University Press announced the…
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
Scientists say that 90 percent of your brain is composed of fat. My own investigations have revealed, on the other hand, that less than 20 percent of your soul is made of fat. So the two balance each other out pretty well. In the coming days, however, I expect that both your brain and soul…
Taken
No one would deny that brutal, vigilante violence is bad. By itself, it’s gross and ugly, and there’s nothing constructive or nice about it. On the other hand, forcing young girls into sex slavery is worse. It’s so much worse, in fact, that it can actually make brutal vigilante violence seem constructive and nice by…
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
I’ve got three questions for you, Scorpio. First, where will you go next to satisfy that special need of yours — you know, the need that demands ever-fresh varieties of fuel? Second, who will you enlist in your ongoing efforts to change your environment so that it’s more compatible with your drives? And third, what…
The Uninvited
You won’t confuse this new thriller with the ghost movie “The Uninvited” from 1944 for two reasons: 1) The older film wasn’t a remake of a superb Korean film, and 2) the one from 1944 was creepy. In this one “? a remake of 2003’s acclaimed South Korean thriller “A Tale of Two Sisters” “?…
Harlem Renaissance’ exhibit examines African-Americans’ plight to redefine culture
“By 1925, a number of African-Americans had migrated north in what is called the “Great Migration,” curator Alison Amick said. “People were moving to northern urban centers in pursuit of better opportunities, and Harlem was one of those centers.” She said Harlem had been overly developed by real estate speculators, which opened the door for…
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
There’s one supreme standard by which your progress in the coming weeks should be ultimately measured: Will you understand yourself better at the end of the adventures than you do at the beginning? A new privilege may come your way, or an honor that’ll perk up your résumé, and maybe even a breakthrough that’ll help…
Library hosts ‘Harlem Renaissance’ event
Southern Oaks Library, 6900 S. Walker, invites local youth to come celebrate the “Harlem Renaissance” with an afternoon of collage-based art activities, beginning 2 p.m. Saturday. The event is designed primarily for teens, and is cosponsored by the Oklahoma City Museum of Art in honor of the museum’s “Harlem Renaissance” exhibit opening Thursday. Rose State…
Diamond dealers lose allegedly stash in Norman
There are bandits on the loose, and they’ve got it in for a girl’s best friend. According to a story in The Oklahoman, two Israeli diamond dealers, Daniel Amnon Singer and his father Aron Chaim Singer, were robbed at a convenience store in Oklahoma City after visiting a Norman jewelry store. Oklahoma City police Sgt.…
Former Oklahoma hoops coach appeals with NCAA
Kelvin Sampson. ‘Memba him? Well, the former Oklahoma and Indiana hoops skipper is appealing the NCAA’s disciplinary action, according to AP. Kelvin was penalized five years for impermissible phone callin’ to recruits in an order that could essentially keep him from coaching college ball for the next few years. The NCAA had ruled Sampson ignored…
Barefoot in the Park’ presents dated but well-acted comedy about newlyweds
Pollard Theatre is presenting its season of plays under the rubric “Let’s Go to the Movies,” in which all of the stagings also have film versions. In some cases, the stage version came first; in others, the stage version was adapted from the film. Theme seasons are OK, but one has to be careful; “Let’s…
Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit?: Insanely Annoying Modern Things – Steve Lowe, Alan McArthur and Brendan Hay
Grand Central Publishing Sadly, the best thing about “Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit?: Insanely Annoying Modern Things” is its title. It’s the kind of moniker that makes one think, “Wow, I can’t believe they had the balls to use a dirty word in the name! This one must be funny.” Not so…
Camel Beauty Pageants
Saudi Arabia is host to several camel beauty pageants each year (condemned as religiously fatuous by Muslim clerics), but the country’s first goat beauty pageant was held in September in Riyadh, with the distinctive Najdi breed, featuring high nose bridges and silky, shaggy hair, taking top prizes. In fact, most of the goats in the…
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Many Americans believe China is a society that puts an abnormally high emphasis on keeping its citizens in line through punishment. But the truth is that only 1.2 percent of China’s 1.3 billion people are in the slammer, whereas the U.S. has jailed 7.7 percent of its population of 300 million. In other words, my…
Book examines the difference between historical Christ, modern incarnation
The cover of former Oklahoma Gazette commentary writer Robin Meyers’ new book, “Saving Jesus from the Church,” features a piece of tape over the mouth of Jesus Christ. The imagery and title are intentionally provocative. Meyers, pastor of Mayflower Congregational United Church of Christ, said he hopes the book provokes a conversation between various factions…
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
“What is a weed?” asked Ralph Waldo Emerson. “A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.” Your assignment, Aquarius, is to identify a weed-like thing in your life whose rich possibilities have not yet been fully realized. Bear in mind, as you ruminate, that there are some weed-like things that would not be particularly…
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
You may find it hard to believe that imprecise language could undermine your ability to merge with your heart’s desire. But it’s true. Your biggest wish may never be fully granted as long as you’re lazy or sloppy about how you articulate it. Try this: Write down a brief statement that crisply sums up the…
The Music Tapes’ Julian Koster returns from a self-imposed exile
In a mere six months, The Music Tapes’ Julian Koster has gone from borderline agoraphobe to a mad touring extrovert. A member of Elephant 6’s psych-pop collective in the 1990s, Koster performed with Neutral Milk Hotel and released his debut full-length, “First Imaginary Symphony for a Nomad,” in 1999, before retreating to a far-flung island…
Wind energy can produce revenue for those who pay up front
eds of towers and acres. There are five large wind farms in Oklahoma, according to the Oklahoma Wind Power Initiative. Corporate utilities companies like OG&E, Oklahoma Municipal Power Authority and Public Service Company of Oklahoma purchase the majority of the wind power generated by these farms. When the scope is narrowed to small-scale production, there…
Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me – Ben Karlin, editor
Grand Central Publishing Dumped: We’ve all been there, guys. And hopefully, you’re at a point in life where you can look back and laugh at that time. “Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me” sure will help. This collection of nearly 50 essays rounded up by former “The Daily Show” writer Ben Karlin…
The Skulls Trilogy
2000-2003 When “The Skulls” came out in 2000 shortly after President Bush took office, the issue of Ivy League secret societies was hot. What a difference a near-decade makes! The hit thriller now comes packaged with both its straight-to-video sequels in the affordable, two-disc “The Skulls Trilogy.” Joshua Jackson, then on “Dawson’s Creek” and now…
