Recurring Themes
In April, the City Council of Vero Beach, Fla., grappling with the question of how much skin can legally be exposed in public, adopted the definitions that at least two other Florida jurisdictions use (and which were reported in News of the Weird). “Buttocks,” for example, is “the area of the rear of the body…
Least Competent Criminals
Timothy Grim, 39, was arrested in Shreveport, La., in April after swiping several garments from the rehearsal room of the Shreveport Opera and dashing off. The conductor and three performers took chase and cornered Grim several blocks away, still in possession of one part of a diva’s outfit, which he immediately offered to sell back…
The Continuing Crisis
Be Wary of Discount Funeral Services: A 2004 burial in Allendale, S.C., is just now being investigated after relatives learned that the deceased, a 6-foot-7 man, was somehow laid to rest in a 6-foot-long coffin that was part of his prepaid plan. Authorities in Houston are investigating a funeral home that handles burial of paupers…
Family Values
Not “Consensual Living”: An Oregon, Wis., man was arrested in February after his 9-year-old son wrote a school essay about the time his dad shot him in the buttocks with a BB gun because he was blocking his view of the TV set. A 58-year-old man was arrested in Baltimore in February for allegedly stabbing…
The Miracle Drug That Changes Everything
A 44-year-old intoxicated man was arrested in Ann Arbor, Mich., in March, blocking traffic by approaching an officer and requesting a big hug (and then cursing the officer when he declined). A 22-year-old tipsy soccer fan celebrating on a chartered bus after a match in West Bromwich, England, in January, was run over by a…
Muscle Madness
2009 One has to laugh at the packaging for “Muscle Madness,” a box set of five Italian sword-and-sandal flicks. It reads, “Not Rated / Contains Men Straining Mightily.” Really, there’s no better description than the appeal of such cheeseball drive-in fare. Following the surprise success of Steve Reeves’ “Hercules,” the man-of-might genre was a prolific…
Rifftrax: Night of the Living Dead / Rifftrax: Reefer Madness
2009 For those who’ve never checked out the film-skewing antics of the Rifftrax gang online, the three “Mystery Science Theater 3000” vets have just made it easy for you, releasing their first 10 DVDs in a single wave. If you’re an “MST” diehard, you’re going to want them all. Among the releases are the 1938…
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
“Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon,” wrote Alexander Pope. Most of us have been guilty of that sin: jumping to conclusions so quickly that we don’t bother to keep listening for the full revelation. My sense is that this behavior has become even more common in recent years because…
Glass: A Portrait of Philip in Twelve Parts
2007 What I knew about Philip Glass before watching the documentary about him: He is a gifted composer responsible for some of the most memorable minimalist music of the 20th century. What I knew about Philip Glass after watching the documentary about him: He is all that, plus a very nice man. That documentary, “Glass:…
Chesapeake Boathouse’s triathlon features chance at championship
When the idea to host a triathlon was floated at the Chesapeake Boathouse a few years ago, executive director Mike Knopp had meager expectations for the first year. The ideal location of the boathouse within downtown Oklahoma City would mean the event could eventually grow into a world-class competition, but it would take time to…
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
The joke goes like this: “Why is a math book so sad? Because it has so many problems.” But of course that’s a distortion of the truth. In fact, the math book loves its problems. Its problems are its reason for being. Besides that, all of its problems are interesting challenges, not frustrating curses. Best…
OKC-area suicides have pastors, church members on the offensive
More than any other time of year, spring is a high-risk season for suicide. One local church experienced an unusually high cluster of suicides this year, and mental health professionals say that is cause for serious concern. Jeff Dismukes, the director of communications for the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services (ODMHSAS),…
Manford Strecker earns first-place honors
There were wieners. There were losers. After crowds witnessed an initial 12 heats and three semifinal runs, Manford Strecker overtook audience favorite Rufus Sternlof in the final race to triumph as top dog in Oklahoma Gazette’s fifth annual Dachshund Dash, held May 9 at the Cox Convention Center Arena. Coming in third overall was Gracie…
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
According to my analysis of the omens, you would really benefit from a baptism right about now. Consider these questions as you design the ritual. Should you seek the help of a religious official, or do it yourself? Should the baptism be conducted in a Christian, pagan, Jewish, atheist, Buddhist, Hollywood, or free-form style? Is…
TV on the Radio tightened its programming for 2008’s ‘Dear Science’
TV on the Radio is one of the most critically adored acts in the underground, since it burst on the scene with its 2004 full-length debut, “Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes,” and the group appears on the verge of joining acts like R.E.M., Sonic Youth and The Flaming Lips in crossing over to a mainstream…
‘Consensual Living’ parenting
Consensual Living parenting, which was developed in 2006 and now has many hundreds of followers, supposes that every family member’s needs are equally valid and respectworthy. Even pre-adolescents are assumed able to understand their own needs and respect those of others. When little Kiernen, 3, of Langley, British Columbia, hits another child, his mom told…
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
In her column “Word Fugitives” in The Atlantic, Barbara Wallraff asked her readers to coin terms or phrases that would mean “the unfortunate telling of a story that one realizes too late is ill-suited to the occasion.” The best ideas were “blabberghasted,” “tale of whoa,” and “put my faux paw in my mouth.” I’ll warn…
Samantha Crain and the Midnight Shivers – Songs in the Night
margin: auto 0in;”>That is not to say that Crain’s pensive, evocative songwriting is washed out by richer instrumentation. The majority of the songs are still stripped bare, pushing her earnest vocals to the foreground, as heard on the album’s opening and closing tracks, “Rising Sun” and “The Dam Song.” The bookends seem to illustrate a…
Norman student strikes impressive debut album in secret
Abello will celebrate the release of his debut record 9 p.m. Saturday at the Opolis. “Nothing but Gold” is a 10-song nod to his abiding love of pop music. An album release is not particularly extraordinary, especially in Norman. What is so unusual is that nearly all of Abello’s friends have no idea he can…
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
I’m providing you with three metaphorical brainteasers. I hope they will help you work your chutzpah back into shape now that you’re on the road to recovery. Was your fright attack provoked by a venomous snake or by a garden hose that resembled a venomous snake? After your pratfall, when you heard one hand clapping,…
Taken
2009 Parents, are your children not doing what they say? Show them “Taken.” Perhaps they’ll straighten right up. Teenaged Kim (Maggie Grace, late of TV’s “Lost”) ignores the initial wishes of her dad (Liam Neeson) by going on a trip to France with a friend. He thinks it’s dangerous for a girl her age; she…
Building a Risk-Free Society
Safety First in Britain: Recently, 118 local government councils conducted formal tests on their cemeteries’ gravestones to see how susceptible they are to toppling over and hurting people, according to an April Daily Telegraph report. In April, a circus clown performing in Liverpool was ordered not to wear his classic oversized shoes because he could…
OKC’s Bob Funk goes Hollywood?
Hey, did you know Express Employment Professionals CEO Robert A. Funk is the subject of a Hollywood biopic? Well, he’s not, but one can forgive the clueless movie watcher who walks into a video store or approaches a Redbox queue on June 23, only to find a film called “Bob Funk” staring back. To differentiate,…
La Cenerentola (‘Cinderella’)
backstage interviews. I am only a casual fan of opera, although I do love Rossini, and I enjoyed the large-screen, HD experience. Maybe that will tell you whether you will or not. “?Doug Bentin
New OKCPS board chair sees no bond shortfall problem
For now, it appears the Oklahoma City school district no longer has a $40 million problem. A few months ago, school Superintendent Karl Springer and then-school board chairman Kirk Humphreys were holding up a white flag and slamming the brakes on the 2007 bond issue overwhelmingly passed by school patrons. The two school leaders claimed…
Politics as usual?
Several of the Oklahoma County officials campaigned on bringing a more professional manner, tone and demeanor to the circus that was Oklahoma County government. Have things at the courthouse really changed, or have the elected officials learned the political lessons of the past? Let’s look back a few years: Commissioner Stuart Earnest faced Stan Inman,…
Inhofe investigates Case of the Missing Language
This was a dandy, all right. CFN imagines our own Sen. James Inhofe, during his biennial reading of the U.S. Constitution, noticed something was amiss. He must have pulled out his magnifying glass and decoder ring. Yup. Something was definitely wrong with the document of the Founding Fathers. Then Inhofe probably opened his super spy…
Crusoe: The Complete Series
2008-2009 So old-school TV is “Crusoe” that it’s no wonder the NBC show was a low-rated, single-season series. That doesn’t mean it’s bad “? anything but, really. Now out in a three-disc box set from Universal, “Crusoe” reveals itself to newbie viewers as something of anomaly in today’s network TV schedules: an hour-long action/adventure show…
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
“There are two things to aim at in life,” wrote essayist Logan Pearsall Smith. “First to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.” You are currently in a position, however, to accomplish that magical second aim, Capricorn. More than ever before, you have the…
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
“The people of future generations will win many a liberty of which we do not yet even feel the want,” said German philosopher Max Stirner. That bracing prediction has special meaning for you right now, Taurus. According to my astrological analysis, you are just becoming aware of freedoms that have not previously been on your…
Oops!
For 15 years, police in southern Germany have been futilely tracking a female “serial killer” whose DNA (but little other matching physical evidence) was found at 40 crime scenes, including six murders. Only in 2007 did they begin to consider alternative theories, and in March 2009, a state justice minister announced that the case had…
Poteet Theatre stages ‘The Miracle Worker’ production
succeeds on some levels, delivering a very methodic physical performance, never breaking character. Even during the dimly lit scene changes, she can be seen being led on- and offstage by the other actors. While her basic mannerisms are good, the emotional component is inconsistent. Mikayla Savuto plays Annie with affectations that unfortunately don’t amount to…
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
After actor Woody Harrelson allegedly assaulted a paparazzo at New York’s La Guardia Airport, he issued a press release claiming it was an honest mistake. He had just completed filming “Zombieland,” a film in which his character had to relentlessly fight off zombies. It was understandable, he reasoned, that he mistook the pushy photographer for…
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
I’m not necessarily saying you fell into a hole a while back, but if you did, the time is right to extricate yourself. Your strength is returning and help is in the neighborhood. Likewise, I’m not making an authoritative pronouncement that you did indeed cast a little curse on yourself during a careless moment. But…
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Scientists find previously unknown species of plants and animals all the time, usually consisting of tiny populations in remote locations. But the latest addition to the great catalog of life is a species whose members number in the millions and cover a huge swath of Ethiopia. It’s a tree that botanists have never had a…
Oklahoma Children’s Theatre stages ‘Alice in Wonderland’
Follow the White Rabbit to the Oklahoma Children’s Theatre’s stage rendition of “Alice in Wonderland” today through May 24. In the classic children’s story adapted from Lewis Carroll, the Queen cautions Alice to take care of her tarts, but they’re stolen when her back is turned. Alice realizes the Rabbit will lose his head if…
Lyric’s Plaza Theater makes welcome home for Truvy’s House of Beauty
Lyric Theatre wraps up its Lyric at the Plaza series with a production of “Steel Magnolias,” and it is good to see the company continue to branch out beyond the big, glitzy musicals that have been part and parcel of its repertoire for more than 40 years. One wonders, however, why the deciders at Lyric…
Possible MAPS 3 project could provide OKC transportation solution
Jeff Bezdek took the microphone at the Oklahoma City Community Foundation and told the assembled crowd of mass transportation executives, riders and others interested in Oklahoma City’s transportation system that now is the time. Now is their time. MODERN TRANSIT PROJECT STEEL RAILS ELECTRIC WIND TYPES OF RAIL “You have passion,” Bezdek told the April…
Next Day Air
As a subgenre, the caper film has a few hallmarks that set it apart from its older cousin, the straight-up crime film. Capers tend to be built around “characters” who display humorous, idiosyncratic behaviors that endear them to the audience. Previous examples of caper movies like “Ocean’s Eleven” “? both the new and old incarnations…
Fairgrounds host reining horse event
Top-notch state horseback riders will face off Friday through Sunday at the Oklahoma Reining Horse Association’s OKC Fairgrounds show. Varying levels of riders, from amateurs to advanced performers, will compete in reining, a type of riding in which judges score horses and riders on a certain set of maneuvers performed in a pattern. Each rider…
Oklahoma senator attacks TV advertisements
From the grassy knoll, we’ve previously uncovered conspiracy theories in the state Republican Party. At a conference labeled “Clouds Over America” back in February, this publication reported how Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City, claimed to have found the actual homosexual agenda, and how others spoke out claiming Islamic terrorism is actually an international communist conspiracy.…
Oklahoma man arrested for alleged tweets
Waning are the days of the hand-scrawled manifesto. A 52-year-old Oklahoma City man was arrested April 15 for Twittering about his plan to turn a local tax protest into a massacre on the state Capitol steps. In a criminal complaint, the FBI identified Daniel Knight Hayden as Twitter user CitizenQuasar ” a microblogger agents said…
Oklahoma gubernatorial candidate welcomes competition
The swimming pool for the 2010 governor’s race may be getting more crowded in the coming days, but that’s no concern to one candidate already in the water. Lt. Gov. Jari Askins was the first to dive into the race earlier this year when she announced her candidacy. Since then, several other well-known state politicians…
