"But soft, what light through yon window breaks?" "William Shakespeare
It is Gassaway, that's who " breaking "¦ into acting.
Forgive us our poetic license, but we at Chicken-Fried News are inspired by the recent news that the flamboyant (former) Oklahoma City attorney Mike Gassaway has taken up acting.
Yep, according to a Web site belonging to Acclaim Talent Agency in Austin, Texas, the firm has signed Gassaway to its stable of "Mature Men" to appear in movies, TV shows and commercials.
The site shows the former legal eagle in a variety of poses, including a couple of those angled, Glamour Shots-styled photos with crossed arms, smiling; one with one foot propped up, wearing an Oklahoma RedHawks jacket; and one muscled-up shirtless beefcake (!) photo (and we pray someone didn't just paste his head on another body).
Wow. For those who don't quite remember, the Oklahoma Bar Association reportedly disbarred Gassaway last month for, among many things, accepting sexual favors as payment for attorney fees (you mean, like, that's wrong or something?).
In 1995, Gassaway surrendered his license when he was jailed for tax evasion, but then his license was reinstated. Not this time, however.
Writing for the Oklahoma Supreme Court, Chief Justice James Winchester said, "The seriousness of respondent's latest violations and his complete lack of remorse and refusal to acknowledge any wrongdoing can only warrant immediate and permanent disbarment."
And so we come to this, Gassaway posing with a puffed-up, bare chest, wearing only shorts. Whew. Did the Supreme Court really do us all a favor? Well, if nothing else, Gassaway's history certainly prepares him for a lot of the reality shows out there.
But wait, that's not all! His resume is pretty impressive. According to the one listed on Acclaim's Web site, Gassaway has played a cop in "Lethal Justice" and a crooked cop in "Good Guys Wear Black" with Oklahoma's most famous mustachioed bad ass, Chuck Norris, as well as stints being a "fitness model" for the World Journal of Martial Arts and as a "principal" for Sport & Fitness Magazine. And if you're looking for special skills, he was the Journal Record's "Best Dressed Man in Oklahoma."
The plum role so far is playing former White House adviser I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff who was charged with obstruction of justice and perjury, according to The Associated Press. Gassaway landed the role in Oliver Stone's upcoming biopic, "W.", about our soon-to-be-former president. Perfect! Politco reports Richard Dreyfuss landed the "big time" role of Cheney.
However, all may not be as it seems; no page or mention exists for Gassaway at the Internet Movie Database, the online authority for cinematic credits. And according to a recent article in The Oklahoman, his resume may involve some fuzzy math: Gassaway lists Michelle DeLong, an Oklahoma City acting instructor, as one of his trainers. Not so, says DeLong, according to the paper. An agent for Gassaway declined comment.
Ah, so what? That would just be more acting, right? Well, heck. At CFN, all we can say is, break a leg!
