Oh, well. At least it’s finally available on Blu-ray, so I can ditch the MGM burned-on-demand DVD (an overdue 2011 release that finally allowed me to ditch my VHS — Google it, kids). Any Dolph Lundgren fan worth his weight in protein powder knows how welcome this high-def release from Shout! Factory is. In a […]
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On the Road
An ode to poet Jack Kerouac and the Beat Generation, On the Road fails to elicit nostalgia for all things Beat, but not for lack of ambition. Its Americana backdrop depicts the unbridled beauty of the West. The visuals are a testament to a time when these United States were more innocent and collectively curious. […]
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Disorderlies
While most of it is my fault, I like to take comfort in the idea that I was doomed from the get-go: • Blame a Depression-era father who forced me to clean my plate through shame and guilt.• Blame a public school free-lunch system that taught gravy as a food group.• Blame cable television for being so […]
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Hatchet III
Mind you, this is played as a punch line in itself. If you can see the absurdity within the annihilation, Hatchet III is recommended for you. And if not … well, hell, you already knew that. Written — but not directed this time — by series creator Adam Green (TV’s Holliston), the third flick depicting […]
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Errors of the Human Body
Fresh from relishing villainy in The Call, the near-unrecognizable Michael Eklund cleans up nice as Dr. Geoffrey Burton, a reluctant geneticist specializing in embryonic abnormalities for very personal reasons. He leaves the University of Massachusetts behind to continue his controversial research in Dresden, Germany — a far less-politicized environment. But Eron Sheean’s film is not […]
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My Amityville Horror
Now a father himself of two teenagers, Lutz — a dead ringer for actor Michael Chiklis (Parker) — recounts what he, his siblings, his mom and his wretched stepfather went through in the Long Island home at 112 Ocean Ave., reportedly haunted because of the six murders that occurred there. Whether speaking to a psychiatrist, […]
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X-Ray / Schizoid
The former, perhaps better-known as Hospital Massacre, comes from the age where you not only could smoke inside a medical center, but could rest a nationwide release on the shoulders of a Playboy personality — in this case, Barbi Benton. She plays Susan, a beautiful divorcée who goes to the hospital to hear her results […]
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Olympus Has Fallen
I’m talking about Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight, just to be clear. In Antoine Fuqua’s Olympus Has Fallen, Aaron Eckhart grows angry and Morgan Freeman pulls strings from the sidelines, while a possibly crazy but altogether decent man dishes out some superheroic justice to save the city, yet the result is a terrible movie, arguably […]
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Oblivion
In 2077, post-nuclear war, Earth is largely uninhabitable, sending survivors to live on one of Saturn’s moons. Cruise’s Jack Harper cruises the skies over the former New York City to guard giant water-sucking machines from attacks. He’s aided in his daily missions by the watchful eye of Victoria (Andrea Riseborough, Disconnect), who works behind a […]
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Bert Stern: Original Madman
New to DVD from First Run Features, it is one of the very best nonfiction films of the past year. The former soda jerk and Korean War vet earned fame and fortune as a conceptual photographer in the Madison Avenue ad game, helping revolutionize the industry in the 1950s and ’60s with his creative thinking […]