In li’l ol’ Siskiyou County, Calif., Bigfoot has been sighted 913 times in the last 25 years so states the opening crawl of this found-footage film. Although the sought target is different, Bigfoot County copies The Blair Witch Project story template to a near T, what with sticks, tent rattling, heavy breathing at night […]
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A Vampire’s Tale
After unpacking his prized oldest obsidian mirror, Jacob inadvertently allows a time-traveling cowboy to cross over into our world, landing right smack in his barn. The cowboy, Phelan (Jonnie Hurn, The Zombie Diaries), is actually a hundreds-year-old vampire, not to mention one who makes references to The Shining, Army of Darkness and, um, City Slickers. […]
Classic Albums: Peter Gabriel: So
To Classic Albums newcomers, the franchise delivers the definitive authorised story of a culture-shaking disc in feature-length form, relying on video clips, concert footage and many a talking-head interview from the talents who were there, on both sides of the studio glass. In this case, that includes Gabriel, other musicians, members of the tech team […]
Painted Skin: The Resurrection
Five hundred years ago, a fox demon (Xun Zhou, Cloud Atlas) was imprisoned in the ice. Five hundred years later, she is freed, is nursed back to health, and wants to be human, yet has a heart hot enough to melt ice. This being an Asian epic fantasy, that doesnt strike the other characters as […]
Coma
Now, cable’s done the same thing with the perfectly fine 70s sci-fi thriller Coma, which was directed by Crichton. Both updates come from director Mikael Salomon. It’s nice to see the lovely and talented Lauren Ambrose (Sleepwalk with Me) headlining the project as an idealistic med student who uncovers a conspiracy involving a remarkable number […]
Kill ’Em All
Then, Saw-style, eight of them wake up locked in a dingy warehouse room dubbed The Killing Chamber, where hit men are taken to die. All of them are assassins, but only one will be allowed to leave after rounds and rounds of glorious mortal combat. So says Snakehead (Gordon Liu, the ’70s martial-arts superstar experiencing […]
Big Tits Zombie
But I’ll give you several dozen more. Aoi plays Lena Jodo, the illiterate, chain-saw-wielding stripper heroine at the center of this unapologetic celebration of arterial spray and areola. As her club is being shut down, she and her fellow entertainers … wait, what’s that? I’m boring you? Apologies. Hows this instead: an old Asian midget, […]
With Great Power …: The Stan Lee Story
But no household name has led a life devoid of conflict and drama, and the three-director doc skirts over those portions, because I assume this project was made with the subjects full approval. It is pardon my French one ass-kisser of a career retrospective. To give credit where credit is due, Lee truly […]
The Apparition
This is the real estate conundrum vexing the cute couple at the tell-tale heart of The Apparition, Ben (Sebastian Stan, Captain America: The First Avenger) and Kelly (Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga). It’s all because, unbeknownst to his beaut beau, Ben took active part in a paranormal psychology experiment headed by a fellow student (Tom […]
Comes a Bright Day
The story surrounds a hostage situation during the attempted theft of a diamond butterfly broach commissioned by Napoleon and valued at some $1 million and change, and the efforts of a mild-mannered errand runner (Craig Roberts, Jane Eyre) to become a hero in the face of danger. So what if it mostly to impress the […]
