They have something to do with a 5,000-year-old Egyptian relic called the Horns of Werethekau and one Dr. Torres who has the power to resurrect the dead, but you’re likely to have forgotten that when the opening credits finally finish up four minutes later. And you’re equally likely to forget the entire movie 82 minutes […]
nudity
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The Wicked
As soon as its wonderful animated opening credits finish, however, The Wicked reveals its true nature as your below-average, everyday, unimaginative horror movie. It’s wicked, all right — just not in the word’s positive connotation. Although not to be confused with the Broadway smash Wicked, this flick also is about a witch (Cassie Keller, Hostel: Part […]
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Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
You asked for it, you got it. And you have no one to blame but yourself. Birdemic 2 is every bit as incompetent as its big bro, and then some: blurred images, sound dropouts, repeated establishing shots, public high-fives and leaden dialogue (“I don’t know about the movie business, but I know how to read”). […]
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Upstream Color
Here’s what I think about Upstream Color nearly three weeks after seeing it: I’m unsure. I’ve not yet finished processing it. I can’t even explain the title. Screening Thursday through Sunday at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art, the self-distributed film marks the belated sophomore effort of writer/director/producer/actor/editor/ composer/cinematographer/camera operator Shane Carruth, who became an […]
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Thale
Presumably in her 20s, their find, Thale (Silje Reinåmo), is actually a “huldra.” In Scandinavian folklore, that’s a seductive forest creature. Her pointy tail is the dead giveaway, but the guys learn more about her from tape recordings that sound like something out of The Evil Dead. From writer/director Aleksander Nordaas, the Norwegian Thale certainly […]
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Save the Date
Not quite a pure drama, not quite a pure comedy, the scrappy charmer also is a love triangle sharing a point with a love rectangle, both hinging on Sarah (Lizzy Caplan, Bachelorette), an artist and bookstore manager who takes the plunge by moving in with her rocker boyfriend, Kevin (Geoffrey Arend, Devil), but bails when […]
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Trance
Based on a 2001 British made-for-TV movie, Trance casts X-Men: First Class member James McAvoy (presumably standing in for Ewan McGregor) as Simon, an art auctioneer who becomes a media hero for foiling the heist of an über-valuable painting, yet pays the price when the would-be thief, Franck (Vincent Cassel, Black Swan), comes looking for […]
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Dead in France
If more proof is needed — it’s not — the exploding heads, shoulder-stabbings and a good ol’ Wilhelm scream should do the trick later. Directed and co-written by Kris McManus, the UK film centers around Charles (Brian Levine, who co-wrote), a lonely hit man who’s not only a virgin, but never even kissed a woman. […]
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The Sweeney
The Sweeney was a cop drama that ran for four seasons in the 1970s in the UK. I’ve never seen it, so I can’t tell how faithful the 2012 Sweeney is. I can only judge it on its own, and it’s a fantastic crime thriller. As Jack Regan, Hugo’s Ray Winstone leads the Flying Squad, […]
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Stitches
The title refers to the booze-soaked, foul-mouthed, likely STD-infected clown (British stand-up comedian Ross Noble) who meets an early, accidental demise while performing at an only child’s 10th birthday party. Because that’s what happens when kids tie your shoelaces together, causing you to trip and fall face-first into the butcher knife left precariously pointing upward […]