She even gets a job cleaning hotel rooms and attracts the eye of a boy who works there (Spencer Treat Clark, 2009’s The Last House on the Left remake). But she can’t escape everything — namely, the demon still inside her. Still produced in part by Eli Roth (Hostel) but directed by new blood Ed […]
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Ninja III: The Domination
I sure did. Never have I seen a ninja movie as entertaining as Cannon Films’ 1984 epic. And I’ve literally had to wait 29 years to see it. I recall the 13-year-old more being intrigued by the black-and-white ads for it in the daily newspaper; remarkably, this Shout! Factory Blu-ray/DVD combo marks its first North […]
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Lifeforce
Time may heal all wounds, but it can’t repair damaged careers. It does, however, prove Hooper was in the right all along, especially judging by Shout! Factory’s Blu-ray edition, which allows American viewers to see the longer international cut while also giving them Cannon’s trimmed theatrical version. Whether you watch one, the other or both, […]
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Dead Souls
Steve Niles’ Remains comic-book miniseries is terrific; Michael Laimo’s Dead Souls novel was average even by horror-paperback standards. Both resulting movies were directed by Colin Theys and written by John Doolan (the team behind Chiller’s inaugural telepic, Alien Opponent, not considered here because it’s not based on pre-existing material). Both also reside on a similar […]
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Before Midnight
Jesse (Ethan Hawke, Sinister) — the writer we’ve watched meet, fall for and settle down with Celine (Julie Delpy, 2 Days in New York) — tells some colleagues about a story idea of his. It involves a group of characters with unique quirks of perception: One has déjà vu, someone else has no facial recognition, […]
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The Philadelphia Experiment
Based on the 1984 sci-fi movie of the same name, this made-for-Syfy version doesn’t improve upon the premise of scientists cracking invisibility. Again, it has terrible consequences — namely, a World War II destroyer ship suddenly transported to a modern-day runway. Holy Battleship! Coffee barista Molly (Emilie Ullerup, TV’s Sanctuary) worries when her cop boyfriend […]
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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Granted, that title tells you everything you need to know. Armed with steampunk weaponry and high-gloss camp, siblings Hansel (Jeremy Renner, The Bourne Legacy) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton, Clash of the Titans) have devoted their lives to dispatching witches. In the case of this film, their current target is one (Famke Janssen, Taken 2) responsible […]
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National Lampoon’s Vacation: 30th Anniversary Edition
Although I much would prefer a theatrical re-release or a fourth Vacation sequel, Warner Bros. celebrates the Griswold family’s inaugural cinematic sojourn with a 30th-anniversary Blu-ray edition. Think about it: Christie Brinkley and Beverly D’Angelo in high-definition; the 12-year-old me would have wept horny tears of joy. Then still beloved by the public, Chevy Chase […]
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Mad Max Trilogy
The first film introduces future cop Mad Max Rockatansky and director George Miller’s violent, pedal-to-the-metal world of carmageddon. Its chase sequences are as exciting as anything the action genre had seen, and they still hold up because their influence is ever-present. While Max’s family life slows the middle, it fuels a bang-up final act of […]
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Snitch
Here, he’s John Matthews, a successful businessman with a trophy wife (Nadine Velazquez, Flight) and an adorable little daughter. He doesn’t live with his other child from his starter marriage, Jason (Rafi Gavron, Celeste & Jesse Forever), now a high school senior. He’s a good kid. He just has bad taste in friends, one of […]