“This is the true sequel,” Texas Chainsaw asserts. To prove it, the first three minutes serve as a Reader’s Digest encapsulation of the original before picking up right where it left off. Leatherface (Dan Yeager) and the surviving members of his Sawyer clan come under siege by an angry redneck squad of vengeance. In the […]
sequel
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Flash Gordon: The Complete Series
Now that I’ve seen its long-delayed DVD set from Mill Creek Entertainment, I can say that, to my surprise, it’s not. Oh, it’s still not “good,” but it’s watchable in a minimal-investment, entertainment-as-wallpaper way. The first step for interested parties is to remove any hopes that this small-screen Flash Gordon will be anything like the […]
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Iron Man 3
So leaden are the jokes, so scattered is its focus, it threatens to court disaster. Then, against all odds, the movie rights itself to recapture that Marvel-ous spirit of the 2008 original. It’s almost as if Shane Black (directing for only the second time, and his first since 2005’s woefully underseen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) […]
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Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
You asked for it, you got it. And you have no one to blame but yourself. Birdemic 2 is every bit as incompetent as its big bro, and then some: blurred images, sound dropouts, repeated establishing shots, public high-fives and leaden dialogue (“I don’t know about the movie business, but I know how to read”). […]
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John Dies at the End
“My name is David Wong. I once saw a man’s kidneys grow tentacles,” intones our genial narrator and protagonist (the heretofore unknown Chase Williamson) who boasts psychic abilities that include communicating with the dead. He and his best bud, John (Rob Mayes, MTV’s The American Mall), operate as freelance ghostbusters when they’re not beer-drinking slackers. […]
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The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
Once again based on a supposedly true story (which the Blu-ray’s extra features delve into), this unconnected, theater-skipping sequel to 2009’s sleeper hit Haunting in Connecticut takes place in 1993, when the Wyrick family — nary a Virginia Madsen among them — moved from the city of Atlanta to the rural Pine Mountain. An overly […]
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The Sweeney
The Sweeney was a cop drama that ran for four seasons in the 1970s in the UK. I’ve never seen it, so I can’t tell how faithful the 2012 Sweeney is. I can only judge it on its own, and it’s a fantastic crime thriller. As Jack Regan, Hugo’s Ray Winstone leads the Flying Squad, […]
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Tormented
Instead, I got what amounts to a feature-length commercial for said Shock Labyrinth. Also in 3-D (if you have the proper player), Tormented opens with 10-year-old Daigo (Takeru Shibuya, who acts primarily by blinking) putting a gravely injured rabbit out of its misery, much to the horror of his fellow classmates and his mute older […]
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The Collection
Those who haven’t seen the original film are urged to do so before diving into this sequel. It begins where its predecessor ended, and try as the opening credits might, they fail to adequately acclimate any newcomers, who may be lost. Not that the new film is deep or complex. It does, however, work best […]
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Lake Placid: The Final Chapter
I’m so kidding. However, it appears to pick up from where LP3 left off — I haven’t seen it — with crocodile hunter Reba (Yancy Butler, Shark Week) surviving a tussle with a giant croc … only to have it not be as dead as she first thought. “You again? You really wanna do this?” […]