Reunited with his Piranha screenwriter John Sayles, Dante spins a suspenseful, spooky and spoofy tale of TV anchorman Karen White (E.T. mom Dee Wallace in her best role), ordered by her psychiatrist (Patrick Macnee, TV’s The Avengers) to take some time off following a traumatic, near-death experience that has left her with amnesia. Said sojourn […]
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Electra Glide in Blue
That Guercio never made another movie is a shame, because so much of Electra Glide in Blue — an opening shot of the highway cutting through the Arizona desert, the introduction of the motorcycle-cop protagonist in full uniform, the haunting final minutes — reveal a keen eye for composition. Two years away from TV’s Baretta, […]
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The Burning
(Granted, hearing future Seinfeld sidekick Alexander talk about spermicide is memorable, too. Seeing his bare behind on a high-definition Blu-ray, however, is something I’d like to forget.) In the prologue, Cropsy (Lou David, The Gumball Rally) is a caretaker at Camp Blackfoot. One night, a few kids have the bright idea to “scare the shit out […]
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Nightfall
But 2012 may prove to be a banner year for him, based upon the smash-hit ensemble The Thieves and now the crime thriller Nightfall. In the latter, he portrays police inspector George Lam, who hasn’t quite been the same since his wife committed suicide five years ago, so his work — however gruesome — provides a […]
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The Last Stand
In his first starring role in a decade, the former governor of California plays Sheriff Ray Owens, the lovable law enforcer of Sommerton, Ariz., where nothing ever happens except a parade — that is, until the FBI starts to transfer Mexican cartel boss Cortez (the Benicio Del Toro-esque Eduardo Noriega of Blackthorn) from Las Vegas […]
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Texas Chainsaw
“This is the true sequel,” Texas Chainsaw asserts. To prove it, the first three minutes serve as a Reader’s Digest encapsulation of the original before picking up right where it left off. Leatherface (Dan Yeager) and the surviving members of his Sawyer clan come under siege by an angry redneck squad of vengeance. In the […]
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Captain America: Collector’s Edition
As you know by now, it didn’t. If you managed not to catch it in its long-delayed VHS debut in 1993 — or the burn-on-demand DVD released in 2011 just to piggyback off the big-budget, blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger — now you can see it the best it’s ever been and likely ever […]
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Die! Die! My Darling!
Directed by Silvio Narizzano (Georgy Girl) from a clever script by the ever-reliable Richard Matheson (I Am Legend), Die! Die! My Darling! is now available on DVD through the manufactured-on-demand Sony Pictures Choice Collection. In her final feature role, the Lifeboat buoy Bankhead anchors the film as Mrs. Trefoil, whose son was engaged to married […]
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Parker
Based on Parker novel No. 19, Flashfire, the film puts Expendables team member Jason Statham in a role previously played by, among others, Mel Gibson in Payback, Robert Duvall in The Outfit and even Jim Brown in The Split. Parker is a criminal, but the “good” kind: He doesn’t steal from those who can’t afford […]
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The Aquabats! Super Show! Season One! 2012
A surf-rock band I recall running across in the mid-1990s, The Aquabats have been reborn as superheroes in these utterly insane adventures, drawing more influence from ’70s-era Asian monster matinees à la Infra-Man than anything else. In each half-hour, our costumed quintet fights some rubber-suited creature (Manant and the Floating Eye of Death among them), […]