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Scorned

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar; here, it’s just one of many atrocities suffered by his rich-guy character when his girlfriend, Sadie (AnnaLynne McCord, TV’s rebooted 90210), discovers he has been cheating on her — and with her own BFF (Viva Bianca, TV’s Spartacus), no less!  Over one rainy night and long off her […]

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Carrie / Dario Argento’s Dracula 3D

His split-screen treatment of the senior-prom carnage becomes her condensed Final Destination sequel; his shock ending becomes her anti-bullying message. Pay no mind that the entire story is already that, with outcast Carrie White (Chloë Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass 2) becoming even more of a social punching bag after she mistakes her first menstruation as bleeding […]

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The Black Water Vampire

You aren’t likely to read a review of The Black Water Vampire that doesn’t reference The Blair Witch Project, and there’s good reason: That 1999 smash’s fingerprints are all over this found-footage effort, to the point that I could show you select stills from both and you wouldn’t be able to tell which belongs to […]

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Die, Monster, Die!

That would be a sinister, humming force that can turn people — Witley’s wife included — into hideous mutant freaks. The special effects are not so special until you get a glimpse of the giant octopus or, better yet, when Witley turns into some sort of glowing metal man. (Again, don’t ask why — this […]

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Freestyle flow

Vahid Farzaneh However, none of this would have come to pass if not for a class taken on a whim at the University of Oklahoma. “I initially wasn’t interested in filmmaking at all,” said Freestyle Productions owner Vahid Farzaneh. “I was kind of drifting around. I took an intro to film class for the credit […]

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We Are What We Are

From Stake Land director Jim Mickle, this American do-over finds its fever in a religious fervor, with scripture-quoting sourpuss Frank Parker (Bill Sage, Precious) mourning the accidental death of his wife. That tragedy leaves their eldest daughter, Iris (Ambyr Childers, The Master), in the unenviable position of assuming the family duty of … let’s just […]

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Badges of Fury

OK, so that’s not really a joke. It is the setup for Badges of Fury, an Asian film that is a joke. Investigating this string of so-called “Smile Murders” are two police detectives: the grizzled old pro (Jet Li, The Expendables 2) and the young renegade (Zhang Wen, The Guillotines). Having Li in a film used to be a surefire […]

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