CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

A few single friends of mine use the dating site OkCupid to meet potential lovers. One woman got the following notice: "We are pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. How can we say this with confidence? Because we've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you . . . Your new elite status comes with one important privilege: You will now see more attractive people in your match results. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results. And, no, we didn't send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend." According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Capricorn, you will soon receive a metaphorically comparable message, not from OkCupid, but from the universe itself.