Not having infants, I’m not in tune with the Nickelodeon children’s series until the three-DVD set “Party in a Box!
This is the best way I can describe each of the nightmarish quintet:
• an orange pickle with one eye and two teeth
• a pink, onion-shaped fat thing
• a green, wooly being with stripes and horns (perhaps a second cousin of Grimace)
• a yellow robot with confused eyes
• a blue cat with dragon scales
Wait, I just thought of another them to describe them:
• hallucinogen overdose
With that out of the way, I can dig in to the nitty gritty of the show, comprised of impossibly catchy but simplistic songs about sharing, high-fives, personal space, proper brushing techniques, the deliciousness of yogurt, picking up messes, injecting the smack between your toes, including others, making funny faces, and so on. I may have made one of those up to see if you’re paying attention.
In between these songs, of which I wouldn’t turn down a soundtrack CD, are video game-style interludes with kids demonstrating tricks, art lessons with a guy named Mark who I wouldn’t let near my kids because he says things like "I think potato bugs are really wacky," and a celebrity guest who stops by to show off their signature dance move. Believe me, you haven’t been properly creeped out in life until you’ve seen the never-blinking Elijah Wood demonstrate the Puppet Master.
In one episode I’m pretty sure I did not dream, one of the characters eats chicken, cheese and juice for a party in his tummy, and the carrots feel bad for being left out, so he kills swallows them, too.
I’ve either scared you away from this show or just eaten up your weekend. I hope it’s the latter. —Rod Lott
