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You say you not only want to be loved, but that you also want to love? Then learn the fantasies and symbols and beliefs that hold people’s lives together. Be interested in feeling the crushing weight and deep comfort of their web of memories. Every now and then, dive in and swim along in their […]

Writing in The New Yorker, Adam Gopnik named two characters from literature that well-educated people tend to identify with. “Men choose Hamlet because every man sees himself as a disinherited monarch,” he said, while “women choose Alice [in Wonderland] because every woman sees herself as the only reasonable creature among crazy people who think that […]

“Dear Rob: Thanks for being a continued source of careful thinking! With the help of you and the rather ruthless teachers who are my friends and loved ones, I’m learning the lessons that are most important for me to learn — like how rigorous I have to be in figuring out my intentions, how impeccable […]

The sun shines brighter on my new home. The old place had resemblances to a cave and was surrounded by tall trees. My new space is surrounded by a wide sky and drinks in the solar radiance from dawn to dusk. As you might expect, my 15 plants need to drink a lot more than […]

The poet Stephen Mallarmé wrote the following in a letter to a friend: “I don’t know which of my internal climates I should explore in order to find you and meet you.” I love that passage. It alludes to one of the central facts about the nature of reality: The quality of your consciousness is […]

John, a colleague of mine, is a skillful psychotherapist. His father is in a similar occupation, psychoanalysis. If you ask John whether his dad gave him a good understanding of the human psyche while he was growing up, John quotes the old maxim: “The shoemaker’s son has no shoes.” Is there any comparable theme in […]

The sun shines brighter on my new home. The old place had resemblances to a cave and was surrounded by tall trees. My new space is surrounded by a wide sky and drinks in the solar radiance from dawn to dusk. As you might expect, my 15 plants need to drink a lot more than […]

Amazingly enough, the good deeds you do in the next 21 days could alone qualify you for a permanent exemption from hell. It seems God has cooked up some imminent tests that will give you a chance to garner some ridiculously sublime karma. What’s that you say? You don’t believe in either God or hell? […]

Let’s imagine that an independent filmmaker has been following you around, gathering footage for a movie based on the story of your life. This week he or she would face a dilemma. That’s because unexpected new sub-plots may arise, veering off in directions that seem to be far afield from the core themes. The acting […]

“Dear Rob: Help! I have a sinking feeling that the man I love and want to be with for the rest of my life is almost but not quite courageous enough to be truly and deeply intimate with me. What should I do? -Downcast Piscean.” Dear Downcast: Ask yourself if there’s anything you can change […]