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The following projects would be excellent ways for you to spend your time in the coming weeks: Attend a fantasy camp where you learn rodeo tricks. (They might come in handy during committee meetings and collaborative efforts in the next six months.) Teach a worthy candidate the intricacies of licking your nuzzle spots. (It no […]

To the thug who stole my Chevy Malibu from its parking place while I was recording an album in San Francisco back in 1991: I forgive you. To the lovely and talented Artemisia, who couldn’t bring herself to fall in love with me as we partied at the Burning Man festival back in 2001: I […]

The following projects would be excellent ways for you to spend your time in the coming weeks: Attend a fantasy camp where you learn rodeo tricks. (They might come in handy during committee meetings and collaborative efforts in the next six months.) Teach a worthy candidate the intricacies of licking your nuzzle spots. (It no […]

“The soft-minded person always fears change,” said one of my favorite transformers, Martin Luther King Jr. “For him, the greatest pain is the pain of a new idea.” The corollary to King’s pronouncement is that changes are less likely to be painful if you’re not afraid of them. According to my astrological analysis, Libra, none […]

KFC is test-marketing a flamboyant new menu item at selected restaurants in the U.S. This remarkable delicacy is an exotic sandwich that consists of bacon, two servings of cheese, and special sauce, all held together not by bread but by two slabs of fried chicken. I nominate this spectacular creation to be your earthy metaphor […]

Ants may literally be crawling in your pants as you pull off a savvy coup or a brilliant stroke. An annoying pest may try to distract you at about the same time that movers and shakers are tuning in to your magnificence. But I don’t mean to imply that minor irritants will undermine your victories. […]

“That which can be destroyed by the truth should be,” wrote author P. C. Hodgell. I wish there were a gentler way to articulate that wisdom, but I can’t think of one. Instead I’ll suggest a way to apply it so as to make the end result more graceful than shocking: Don’t pour out the […]

What if a billion Chinese people jumped up into the air at the same exact moment? Would they create, at the moment they landed, a shockwave that would cause an earthquake on the opposite side of the world, in Chile and Argentina? No one knows. I’d like to propose a not unsimilar but more interesting […]

“That which can be destroyed by the truth should be,” wrote author P. C. Hodgell. I wish there were a gentler way to articulate that wisdom, but I can’t think of one. Instead I’ll suggest a way to apply it so as to make the end result more graceful than shocking: Don’t pour out the […]

I don’t think I’m being unduly optimistic when I speculate that you’re on the verge of achieving a ringing victory over your bad self. What makes me so confident that this development is in the works? Well, in recent weeks you have been dealing more forthrightly and intelligently with the lowest aspects of your character. […]