Chicken-Fried News

“I bet I can stay up longer than they can.”   “U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Oklahoma, making the Chicago Tribune’s list of 2007’s best quotes with his comment on Senate Democrats staging an all-night debate on the Iraq war

Remember the University of Oklahoma fan accused of tearing the scrotum of a man wearing a Texas Longhorns shirt in an Oklahoma City bar? How could you forget?   Well, United Press International reported that Allen Michael Beckett is scheduled to appear at a preliminary hearing on assault charges on Feb. 6, ensuring that this […]

We’re continuing the college football theme for this next CFN. Sorry, but we can’t help it. Bucky, CFN’s intern, is glued to wall-to-wall bowl coverage on the newsroom television. We were trying to pry him away from watching the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl at press time.   Back to the gridiron, namely Mark Clayton. […]

Just when Sooner football fans think the name Howard Schnellenberger can be fully erased from the mind, the gravelly voiced walrus of college football still haunts the Sooner Nation.   In a story posted on ESPN.com, Schnellenberger unaffectionately recalls his days of roaming the sidelines in Norman.   Sorry to remind you of this Sooner […]

You think you’ve heard of “baaaad” laws, huh? It seems to Chicken-Fried News that Oklahoma abounds with them, but then there’s the one in Dibble that really gets our goat.   According to KFOR-TV Channel 4’s intrepid Scott Hines, a woman down there, Carol Mendenhall, was ticketed recently when a neighbor turned her in because […]

Finally, the answer to navigating the politically correct morass that is “the holidays” of December ” brought to you by: the city of Oklahoma City. Religious holidays (we’re looking at you, Christmas, Hanukkah, Eid al-Adha, et al.): Consider yourself vaporized. Or, maybe, “memo”-ized.   A November memo to city department heads from City Manager Jim […]

Celebrating the state’s 100th birthday turned out to be more popular than handing out hot chocolate to people standing in line for a free Wii video game system.   According to John McCarroll, executive director of the Oklahoma Education Television Authority, the live broadcast of the state’s centennial celebration on Nov. 16 garnered the largest […]

We knew it was only a matter of time, but the wolves of Washington have caught scent of our own Little Red Riding Hood, Rep. Mary Fallin.   According to a recent issue of the Washington, D.C., newsletter The Hill, a young North Carolina Republican representative, Patrick McHenry (no, really), is sorta denying but not […]

CFN just can’t help but shed a tear that one of our favorite foils, Oklahoma House spokesman Damon Gardenhire, is departing the palace, while the eunuchs remain behind to whisper rumors among themselves.   The Associated Press reported that Gardenhire will become the assistant dean for communications and marketing at Oklahoma City University Jan 1. […]

Joe Francis ” “a millionaire,” wrote The Oklahoman ” must have a lot of free time in jail, because the “Girls Gone Wild” founder’s film company had a cease-and-desist letter drawn up, demanding that three Broken Bow women stop selling their “Girls Gone Wine” beverage under that name.   So they responded by filing suit […]