The Carter County GOP may have unveiled the official uniform for OKGOP Certified candidates.
Its Aug. 22 X post featured an AI-generated Charity Linch and Vice Chair Kendra Wesson standing back-to-back with rifles, blazers and sensible tops.
Linch & Wesson. Smith & Wesson. Get it?
The American-flag backdrop is sprinkled with “Faith * Family * Freedom” and “Conservative * Patriotic * Unapologetic,” while a bald eagle sits in the corner looking confused about how he got dragged into this.
Presumably, blazers are now standard issue for OKGOP Certified candidates. Male candidates should probably stick with button-down collars to avoid any uncomfortable questions about transclothing.
The rifles, apparently, go with everything.
Chicken McSanctuary
Oklahoma Secretary of State Benjamin Lepak narrowly avoided a DUI charge Aug. 14 by taking sanctuary in that most sacred of late-night refuges: McDonald’s.
KFOR reported police never administered a breathalyzer or field sobriety test after Lepak was reported for apparent public intoxication—an omission one legal expert said likely spared him a DUI charge.
Lepak initially denied drinking and reportedly claimed the pickup outside wasn’t his. Spoiler: It was.
He eventually admitted drinking and said he drove to McDonald’s for food after church, prompting an officer to ask: “OK. A lot of communion?”
Give that officer a medal.
Lepak was arrested for public intoxication, proving the Golden Arches may offer sanctuary from a DUI charge, but apparently not diplomatic immunity.
73 Days and Counting
Sara Polston is back in the news, but this time it’s not because she drunkenly ran people over.
Polston is fighting to remain in Oklahoma’s home-monitoring program as SB 137 takes effect Nov. 1. The new law prohibits DUI offenders who caused “great bodily harm” from participating in the program.
Polston reportedly served just 73 days behind bars on a 15-year sentence before landing on home monitoring—exactly the kind of head-scratching outcome the new law appears designed to prevent.
Whether it can legally be applied retroactively is another matter.
If Polston does return to prison, perhaps DOC can ease the transition with a golf cart and a milk jug of hooch.
Just hide the pedestrians.