Archives – Real Astrology

I’m worried about your ability to sneak and fake and dissemble. These skills seem to have atrophied in you. To quote Homer Simpson, “You couldn’t fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!” Please, Aries, jump back into the game-playing, BS-dispensing routine the rest of us are […]

It’s my opinion that everyone has a duty to periodically check in with themselves to make sure they still are who they say they are. Over time, there’s a tendency for all of us to fall into the habit of believing our own hype. We get entranced by the persona we project. We’re tempted to […]

All but one of our planet’s mountain ranges have been mapped: the Gamburtsev Mountains, which are buried under 2.5 miles of ice in Antarctica. Recent efforts to get a read on this craggy landscape, aided by a network of seismic instruments, have revealed some initial details about it, including its role in forming the East […]

In my role as moral sentinel, I strongly urge you not to watch “Telephone,” the music video by Lady Gaga and Beyoncé. It epitomizes everything that’s crazy-making about our culture: brilliantly executed, gorgeous to behold, and perversely seductive, even though its subject matter is degrading, demoralizing, and devoid of meaning. In my role as a […]

NASA scientist Richard Gross believes that the recent 8.8 earthquake in Chile was so strong that it shifted the planet’s axis and shortened the length of the day. The amounts were relatively small — three inches and 1.26 microseconds — but it was enough to make “the Earth ring like a bell.” I predict a […]

There’s no need for you to get a t-shirt that says, “Oh no, not another learning experience.” According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are not about to have an embarrassing stumble that could in retrospect be euphemistically referred to as a “learning experience.” On the contrary, the educational events you’ll be communing […]

The odds are higher than usual that you’ll encounter a future soul brother or soul sister in the coming weeks. Potential allies are gravitating toward you, even if neither they nor you are aware of it yet. You’re also likely to brush up against a tribe or team you could benefit from knowing more about. […]

In a library in Warsaw, there is a 1,000+-page memoir written by my great-great-great-great grandfather, Leon Dembowski, a close advisor to the last king of Poland. Someday I’ll make a pilgrimage over there, photocopy that family heirloom, bring it back to America, and have it translated into English. The task I envision for you in […]

I’m inclined to prophesy that in the days to come, you may be able to read the minds of people whose actions are critical to your success. I also suspect that you will know exactly what to do in order to banish a minor health problem. I’m even tempted to believe that when you gaze […]

Most of the time, life does not talk to you, writes Robert T. Kiyosaki in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad. “It just sort of pushes you around. Each push is life saying, ‘Wake up. There’s something I want you to learn.’” Different people respond in different ways, Kiyosaki says. “Some just let life push […]