Then again, it might not. Levi Collins (Chris Sheffield, Transformers: Dark of the Moon) is a Rushmore-esque high school senior so smart-ass, he has a sidekick. He also has a full college scholarship for tennis, but that’s in danger when he flunks science. In order to save it, he has to attend summer school without […]
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The Five Man Army
The multiculti cast is led by Peter Graves as The Dutchman. For someone who grew up on multiple viewings of Airplane!, seeing Graves as a badass outlaw is something of a trip. At the time, he was about midway through his run on TV’s Mission: Impossible, and like that long-running series, Five Man Army finds […]
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The Revenant
I was reminded of this by the trailer for The Revenant, which touts the zombie comedy as coming from “visionary filmmaker” Kerry Prior. If he’s so visionary, why wasn’t his film given a wide theatrical rollout? Why did it take three years for the 2009 production to hit video? And why does it bear so […]
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The Tall Man
In just under two hours, a 36-hour ordeal is told, focusing on Julia (Jessica Biel, Total Recall), a free-clinic nurse turned supermom when her Chucky doll-looking son is kidnapped by The Tall Man. He drives a rusty van that practically screams “child molester.” I’ll give the film by writer/director Pascal Laugier (Martyrs) this: It throws […]
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Sitting Target
Oh, and she’s preggo. It’s not his. That revelation causes Harry to bust through the glass that separates them so he can get his paws around her neck. It’s an indication that this not-so-ordinary crime tale intends to do the same to audiences. In its day, I’m sure it did, being the first British film […]
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Sleepwalk with Me
Early in Sleepwalk with Me, protagonist Matt Pandamiglio (comedian Mike Birbiglia, more or less playing himself) addresses via narration the feelings his character holds for his live-in girlfriend, Abby (Lauren Ambrose, Wanderlust) with the lines, “I think falling in love for the first time is such a transcendent feeling. It’s like pizza-flavored ice cream: Your […]
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Goats
Based on an assumedly semiautobiographical novel and well-directed by a member of the Coppola filmmaking dynasty — Christopher Neil, nephew of Francis — Goats centers on Ellis (Graham Phillips, TV’s The Good Wife), who leaves the remote Arizona desert home he shares with his trust-fund hippie mom (Vera Farmiga, Safe House) for a prestigious prep […]
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Drive-In
(How meta it would’ve been to see this at an actual drive-in; I’ll settle for its DVD debut from Sony Pictures’ Choice Collection, rather than the alternative, which is to never see it at all.) Like American Graffiti three years before it, the movie follows a select handful of youngsters, mostly teens, over the course […]
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The Crimson Petal and the White
Romola Garai (Atonement) plays Sugar, a 19-year-old prostitute pimped out by her own mother (The X-Files’ Gillian Anderson, almost unrecognizable) to the hoity-toity about town. One such uncool customer is William Rackham (O’Dowd), a soap titan married to a mentally ill woman (Amanda Hale, Bright Star). So taken is he by Sugar’s honeypot that he […]
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Mad Monster Party?
Filmed in “Animagic” and with characters designed and a script by two Mad magazine giants — Jack Davis and Harvey Kurtzman, respectively — the movie got beloved horror icon Boris Karloff to voice mad scientist Dr. Frankenstein, who looks just like the actor. The doc has invited all of moviedom’s monsters — y’know, Dracula, the […]