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Sex Kittens Go to College

1. The character with the silly name of Woo Woo Grabowski? He’s played by the actor with the silly name of Woo Woo Grabowski.  2. Not only has Warner Archive rescued this kooky comedy from nowheresville, but brings us the “extended international version.” That means boobs.  Once Orson Welles’ producer, Albert Zugsmith ditched prestige to […]

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The Guillotines

Not necessarily. The guillotines of The Guillotines are of the shimmering CGI kind, and so obvious as to be cartoons. Still, this Hong Kong pic is at its best when the guillotines spin on their scooped launchers like rabid dogs waiting to be unleashed, then zoom around the place looking for a head to latch […]

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The Great Magician

A co-production of China and Hong Kong, the film centers around Chang Hsien (Tony Leung, Infernal Affairs, Red Cliff and roughly half of Wong Kar Wai’s output), a stranger who swoops into a little village in the early 1900s and wows its residents with his amazing tricks. But don’t call him a trickster — he […]

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The Thieves

So don’t complain that you have to read subtitles; literacy is good for you. Depicting the theft of a national treasure from a seemingly impenetrable art vault, a 10-minute prologue puts viewers right in the mood for its jaunty, addicting vibe — one that marries the globetrotting derring-do of the Mission: Impossible franchise with the […]

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Tai Chi Zero

In an acting debut that deliberately doesn’t require him to act much, wushu champ Yuan Xiaochao plays Lu Chan, nicknamed “The Freak” from birth because a horn-like protrusion on the side of his forehead. When pushed, his eyes go milky and, for a brief time, he hulks out with brute force until blood spurts out […]

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Kill ’Em All

Then, Saw-style, eight of them wake up locked in a dingy warehouse room dubbed The Killing Chamber, where hit men are taken to die. All of them are assassins, but only one will be allowed to leave after rounds and rounds of glorious mortal combat. So says Snakehead (Gordon Liu, the ’70s martial-arts superstar experiencing […]

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Rabies

Without spoiling a thing, “Rabies” takes place almost entirely in a trap-laden forest currently populated by the following characters:• a young woman caught in a hole, and her brother who desperately tries to get her out;• a loving couple of forestry rangers and their beloved German shepherd;• four young tennis players — two guys, two […]

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The Butcher, the Chef and the Swordsman

I’m not insulting you, dear readers — those are merely the three animals that figure prominently in the opening of Hong Kong’s action-comedy “The Butcher, the Chef and the Swordsman,” as broad as its continent’s schoolgirls are sexualized. Doug Liman (director of “Go,” “Swingers” and “The Bourne Identity”) serves as executive producer, which I take […]

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