The gist is that for its season/series finale, one of those ridiculous ghost-hunting shows goes to Hicksville, Texas, in search of the “yeti-demon” known as Smallsquatch. To give you an immediate idea of the level of humor the flick operates, the creature tickles its victims to death. Ha-ha! I mean, ha-ha? This flimsy setup allows […]
horror
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Chernobyl Diaries
From the mind of Paranormal Activity maestro Oren Peli and first-time director Bradley Parker, the film follows six 20-somethings (including former boy bander Jesse McCartney) taking an “extreme tour” of the town of Pripyat, abandoned since the Chernobyl nuclear reactor disaster of 1986. They’re not supposed to be there, but it wouldn’t be extreme if […]
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247?F
Three years after a horrific car crash all but destroyed her will to live, Jenna (Scout Taylor-Compton of Rob Zombie’s pair of Halloween remakes) takes a much-needed vacay with three pals to a lakeside cabin for some R-and-R. Part of the agenda includes drinking brewskies in the sauna, then jumping into the lake to cool […]
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The Tortured
That said, I’m a big boy. I can take it. That’s my way of saying I kind of dug the evil game it plays, mammoth faults and all, because how often does that happen? Having a child kidnapped is something I hope never to experience, yet that’s the premise behind this nasty little thriller, which […]
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Sinister
Had I been watching it at home, alone, on a dark and stormy night, my neck likely would be sore by the end of it, from making repeated glances behind the couch — you know, just to be safe. It’s this year’s Insidious: well-built, respectful of audience members’ intelligence and yet genuinely freaky. Ethan Hawke […]
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Hypothermia
Essentially a six-person play, the film by writer/director James Felix McKenney concerns two groups of people ice-fishing and a creature lurking underneath that sheet. One is a family fronted by Michael Rooker (TV’s The Walking Dead) and Blanche Baker (Sixteen Candles); the other infringes on their territory, so you know one of them will be […]
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Back from Hell
Presented as four days of a taped holiday — because apparently, that’s what young people do — the movie follows a handful of pals who vacay together, screw around with a Ouija board and eat shish kabob outdoors. In other words, not a Hell of a lot happens beyond the occasional person screaming from outside. […]
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Chained
After catching a movie, a woman (Julia Ormond, TV’s Mad Men) and her young son (Evan Bird, TV’s The Killing) take a cab to get home, but the cabbie isn’t really a cabbie. He’s Bob (Vincent D’Onofrio, Full Metal Jacket), a lisping serial killer of “whores.” Bob offs the mom, but keeps the kid as […]
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Little Shop of Horrors: The Director’s Cut
That’s one fun fact I learned, but the real draw of this release is the film’s Holy Grail: the 23-minute original ending in its entirety and in full-color — not the unfinished black-and-white version — and it’s Quite Something to See. As many Little Shop fans know, but thought they’d never view, the movie stayed […]
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What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?: Anniversary Edition
Both sibs are former stars. Baby Jane (Davis) was a child star, “the diminutive dancing Duse from Duluth” who entertained vaudeville audiences until she could no longer get away with a spoiled brat. Blanche (Crawford) became a leading lady of the silver screen later in life, but her glory waned long ago. Now, Blanche is […]