Samantha (Najarra Townsend, Me and You and Everyone We Know) learns this the — ahem — hard way, after drowning her inhibitions in vodka and letting them run free at a party where she’s roofied by a stranger (Simon Barrett, You’re Next). What happens in the few days that unfold thereafter are akin to scientist Seth Brundle in Cronenberg’s […]
horror
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Beneath
The effort he gives Beneath makes the Chiller Films presentation better than your average made-for-TV monster movie — or below-average, in the recent case of Hypothermia, a similar film in which Fessenden appeared. To the teens of Beneath stranded on a boat in the supposedly cursed Black Lake, a killer fish provides the fatal threat — not a […]
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The Slumber Party Massacre
Or, if they do have the sense, they stupidly return to the house soon after. In the 1982 original written by Rita Mae Brown and directed by Amy Holden Jones, a girls’ basketball team (whose players suck on the court, it should be noted), shack up for a night at the house of Trish (Michelle […]
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Haunter
Abigail Breslin (August: Osage County) stars as Lisa, a teen who’s the only one in her happy family of four to notice that for some reason, they’re re-living the same foggy Sunday in the ’80s over and over and over and over. Keeping her forever 15, it’s a cyclical grind of missing laundry, Atari Pac-Man, […]
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Witchboard / Night of the Demons
Written and directed by Kevin S. Tenney, the 1986 chiller begins at a party held by couple Jim (Todd Allen, Django Unchained) and Linda (Whitesnake video vixen Tawny Kitaen). Her ex (soap actor Stephen Nichols) brings a Ouija board, proceeds to contact the spirit of a 10-year-old boy, and thus uncorks a shitstorm of trouble. […]
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Banshee Chapter / You’re Next
Using the CIA’s real-life Project MKUltra as a jumping-off point, freshman writer/director Blair Erickson explores the fates and legacy of those who volunteered for the controversial mind-control experiments, which ran in secret for about 20 years beginning in the 1950s and often involved LSD. After a friend disappears from downing a 150-mg dose, an […]
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The Conjuring / Insidious: Chapter 2
This summer, the smash of The Conjuring crowned him king. Based on a “true” case file of paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (if you believe bunk to be true), the film begins with perhaps the most frightening doll in cinema history — or at least since Poltergeist — and things just grow creepier from […]
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Carrie / Dario Argento’s Dracula 3D
His split-screen treatment of the senior-prom carnage becomes her condensed Final Destination sequel; his shock ending becomes her anti-bullying message. Pay no mind that the entire story is already that, with outcast Carrie White (Chloë Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass 2) becoming even more of a social punching bag after she mistakes her first menstruation as bleeding […]
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The Black Water Vampire
You aren’t likely to read a review of The Black Water Vampire that doesn’t reference The Blair Witch Project, and there’s good reason: That 1999 smash’s fingerprints are all over this found-footage effort, to the point that I could show you select stills from both and you wouldn’t be able to tell which belongs to […]
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Die, Monster, Die!
That would be a sinister, humming force that can turn people — Witley’s wife included — into hideous mutant freaks. The special effects are not so special until you get a glimpse of the giant octopus or, better yet, when Witley turns into some sort of glowing metal man. (Again, don’t ask why — this […]