The effort he gives Beneath makes the Chiller Films presentation better than your average made-for-TV monster movie — or below-average, in the recent case of Hypothermia, a similar film in which Fessenden appeared. To the teens of Beneath stranded on a boat in the supposedly cursed Black Lake, a killer fish provides the fatal threat — not a […]
monster
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Die, Monster, Die!
That would be a sinister, humming force that can turn people — Witley’s wife included — into hideous mutant freaks. The special effects are not so special until you get a glimpse of the giant octopus or, better yet, when Witley turns into some sort of glowing metal man. (Again, don’t ask why — this […]
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Under the Bed
After living with his aunt for two years, teenager Neal Hasuman (Jonny Weston, John Dies at the End) returns home. He was sent away following a fire that accidentally killed his mother; the blaze was set by him in an attempt to kill the creature lurking in his room. Naturally, Neal’s high-strung and short-fused father […]
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John Dies at the End
“My name is David Wong. I once saw a man’s kidneys grow tentacles,” intones our genial narrator and protagonist (the heretofore unknown Chase Williamson) who boasts psychic abilities that include communicating with the dead. He and his best bud, John (Rob Mayes, MTV’s The American Mall), operate as freelance ghostbusters when they’re not beer-drinking slackers. […]
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Storage 24
Among the few unfortunates sealed within its labyrinthian walls are a newly dumped Charlie (Doghouse’s Noel Clarke, who also scripted) and his ex, Shelly (Antonia Campbell-Hughes, Albert Nobbs), both of whom have come to retrieve their stuff. Each has brought a friend, too: Mark (Colin O’Donoghue, The Rite) and Nikki (Laura Haddock, The Inbetweeners Movie). […]
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Curandero: Dawn of the Demon
Certainly releasable, but only a goatee hair above watchable, the horror film is co-produced by Machete man Robert Rodriguez (no relation), who also wrote the original screenplay — “original” only in terms of it being rewritten, as there’s nothing new you haven’t seen 100 times before. To less adventurous viewers, I suppose the story’s being […]
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Bath Salt Zombies
Set in New York City, the film imagines such a huge crackdown on “bath salts” — a real-life drug currently making headlines for its zombie-like effects on users — that one enterprising chemist has synthesized it in cigarette form. Smoking it, however, proves even more addictive than usual, causing withdrawal symptoms so bad “it will […]
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Rites of Spring
Realizing that’s been done before, writer/director Padraig Reynolds shrewdly introduces a second storyline in the form of a $2 million kidnapping scheme concocted by a white-trash trio on a wealthy family. For these two storylines to converge takes about 50 minutes, and just before they do, Rites delivers a welcome twist. Well, it would be […]
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Frankenstein
And, in the early ’90s, he starred as the mad doctor in Frankenstein … for TNT, not Kenneth Branagh. Provided you missed it on during its CableACE Award-nominated broadcast, the better-than-average production is now alive — alive! — on MOD DVD from Warner Archive. Bergin’s Dr. Frankenstein is even more enterprising than in the Mary Shelley […]
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The Ghostmaker
A little research reveals it was built by an inventor of torture devices — a man considered “an evil version of Leonardo da Vinci. They called him the Devil’s Craftsman.” The coffin is a “ghost machine” constructed to allow its users to safely experience the sensation of death without actually dying. One goldfish test later, […]