But I’ll give you several dozen more. Aoi plays Lena Jodo, the illiterate, chain-saw-wielding stripper heroine at the center of this unapologetic celebration of arterial spray and areola. As her club is being shut down, she and her fellow entertainers … wait, what’s that? I’m boring you? Apologies. How’s this instead: an old Asian midget, […]
nudity
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The Apparition
This is the real estate conundrum vexing the cute couple at the tell-tale heart of The Apparition, Ben (Sebastian Stan, Captain America: The First Avenger) and Kelly (Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga). It’s all because, unbeknownst to his beaut beau, Ben took active part in a paranormal psychology experiment headed by a fellow student (Tom […]
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Comes a Bright Day
The story surrounds a hostage situation during the attempted theft of a diamond butterfly broach commissioned by Napoleon and valued at some $1 million and change, and the efforts of a mild-mannered errand runner (Craig Roberts, Jane Eyre) to become a hero in the face of danger. So what if it mostly to impress the […]
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Rites of Spring
Realizing that’s been done before, writer/director Padraig Reynolds shrewdly introduces a second storyline in the form of a $2 million kidnapping scheme concocted by a white-trash trio on a wealthy family. For these two storylines to converge takes about 50 minutes, and just before they do, Rites delivers a welcome twist. Well, it would be […]
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Zorro
Zorro movies always are better in theory than execution, but this is one of the more enjoyable efforts, because for once, the swashbuckling Spanish superhero is interpreted by the Italians. Therefore, the dish has a slight spaghetti-Western flavor. French screen idol Alain Delon (Le Samouraï) gallops into town as Don Diego, only to see his […]
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The Day
The film from director Douglas Aarniokoski (Highlander: Endgame) follows a group of young people wandering the country on foot several years after an event of catastrophic proportions. They include Shawn Ashmore (Frozen), Ashley Bell (The Last Exorcism), Dominic Monaghan (TV’s Lost) and Shannyn Sossamon (One Missed Call), and they spend much of the movie in […]
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Smashed
Opening today exclusively at AMC Quail Springs Mall 24, 2501 W. Memorial, the indie drama is reminiscent of 1988’s Clean and Sober, also a sturdy-enough addiction movie that lives and dies on its central performance — in other words, one actor shoulders the entire burden, elevating what is otherwise unremarkable (but not incompetent) material. He […]
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Magic Mike
To play the titular male stripper nicknamed Magic Mike, Channing Tatum drew upon his own pre-fame experiences as a exotic dancer, and it shows. To put it bluntly, the guy thrusts his pelvis like a pure professional, like a wave lapping the shore. No wonder female audiences ate this movie up. Too bad eye candy […]
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Rudyard Kipling’s Mark of the Beast
Not only is the title superimposed over an image from the indie effort, but two clickable options, two URLs and four review blurbs, as if to convince you upfront that you are about to witness brilliance. To further complicate the eyesore, the blurbs are not presented in consistent typeface, color or size. In other words, […]
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The Ghostmaker
A little research reveals it was built by an inventor of torture devices — a man considered “an evil version of Leonardo da Vinci. They called him the Devil’s Craftsman.” The coffin is a “ghost machine” constructed to allow its users to safely experience the sensation of death without actually dying. One goldfish test later, […]