We do, however, get our fair share of interesting crimes in Oklahoma, and a recent one took the cake … er, cookies. Michelle Stephens, 27, faces first-degree burglary and petty larceny charges after breaking into an Oklahoma City home. The homeowner, a woman named Kelly, discovered Stephens as she walked into the kitchen at […]
panties
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Femme Fatales: The Complete Second Season
This second batch of episodes, 12 in all on two DVDs, seems more confident than Femme‘s freshman outing, even if story quality remains wildly varied. Tanit Phoenix (Safe House) hosts the proceedings, with scenarios that include: • a comic-book heroine, • time-traveling clones, • noir-drenched detectives • and so much moaning. For every leaden dud […]
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Parker
Based on Parker novel No. 19, Flashfire, the film puts Expendables team member Jason Statham in a role previously played by, among others, Mel Gibson in Payback, Robert Duvall in The Outfit and even Jim Brown in The Split. Parker is a criminal, but the “good” kind: He doesn’t steal from those who can’t afford […]
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Mold!
Opening with President Reagan’s infamous crack speech, the 1984-set Mold! unfolds in a secret facility deep within the Arizona desert. Scientists there have spent two years of funding on developing a strain of mold (they call it “stacky mort” to shorten its long, boring name) as an ecological weapon to destroy the Colombians’ drug fields […]
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Stitches
The title refers to the booze-soaked, foul-mouthed, likely STD-infected clown (British stand-up comedian Ross Noble) who meets an early, accidental demise while performing at an only child’s 10th birthday party. Because that’s what happens when kids tie your shoelaces together, causing you to trip and fall face-first into the butcher knife left precariously pointing upward […]
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Big Tits Zombie
But I’ll give you several dozen more. Aoi plays Lena Jodo, the illiterate, chain-saw-wielding stripper heroine at the center of this unapologetic celebration of arterial spray and areola. As her club is being shut down, she and her fellow entertainers … wait, what’s that? I’m boring you? Apologies. How’s this instead: an old Asian midget, […]
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The Apparition
This is the real estate conundrum vexing the cute couple at the tell-tale heart of The Apparition, Ben (Sebastian Stan, Captain America: The First Avenger) and Kelly (Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga). It’s all because, unbeknownst to his beaut beau, Ben took active part in a paranormal psychology experiment headed by a fellow student (Tom […]
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The Phynx
To review the movie, I need only tell you what it’s about. The dictator of communist Albania has swiped dozens of United States “world leaders,” including Butterfly McQueen, Johnny Weismuller, Maureen O’Sullivan, Dorothy Lamour, Xavier Cugat, Col. Sanders, Busby Berkeley, the Bowery Boys, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy. (Mind you, all of them appear as […]
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Iron Sky
The Nazis mistake the landing as a prelude to an invasion, so the Third Reich prepares to strike the earth before the earth can strike it. Iron Sky has all the makings of a big batch of poor taste. Instead, it’s an inspired goof of a spoof that bridges the worlds of highbrow and lowbrow […]