The 1980 box-office bomb takes place on an experimental research station on a moon of the title’s ringed planet. For three years, scientist Adam (ol’ butt-chinned Kirk Douglas) has worked there to solve Earth’s hunger problem hydroponically, alongside Alex (Farrah Fawcett, The Cannonball Run), his much younger partner — in the lab and the space-disco […]
Sci-Fi
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Eve of Destruction
A female take on The Terminator, 1991’s Eve of Destruction casts the robot, named Eve VIII, in the spittin’ image of its creator, Dr. Eve Simmons (Renée Soutendijk, the Dutch actress known for early Paul Verhoeven films). Eve VIII also shares Dr. Eve’s thoughts and memories, which gets really interesting when it begins acting out […]
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Grabbers
On an Irish island, the whales and villagers alike are being attacked by an alien creature that thrives on blood and water alone. Looked like Lisa Nolan (Ruth Bradley, Alarm, In Her Skin) picked the wrong two weeks to sub as an officer there. Her jaded partner, the functioning alcoholic O’Shea (Richard Coyle, Prince of Persia: […]
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The Eyes of Charles Sand
Why not both? As his aunt (Joan Bennett, TV’s Dark Shadows) informs Charles, now that he is the sole surviving son of the Sands, he and he only possesses powers of ESP, and with great power comes great responsibility — not to mention pesky, spooky visions of milky-eyed, heavily wrinkled corpses appearing wherever he goes. […]
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Pacific Rim
I realize this unpopular stance puts me at odds with fervid fanboys nationwide who all but wet their pants over the film this summer, but that’s OK — it’s hardly the first time. I, too, would have loved this movie at the age of 8 … unfortunately, a few decades have passed. A mere seven […]
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Europa Report
Among the six-member crew are a few recognizable faces who nonetheless disappear into their roles, including Elysium villain Sharlto Copley and Dragon Tattoo trilogy star Michael Nyqvist. Unfortunately, as with the case of so many found-footage films, there’s not much of a story here. It’s all build-up to a final image that leaves audiences asking, […]
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Q: The Winged Serpent
It also helps that it’s about a giant, dragon-like creature that snatches up New York City residents from rooftops for snacks. Running concurrently with a serial killer skinning his victims, the monster’s appearance has the Big Apple police force on edge. While running away from some of New York’s finest, Quinn mistakenly stumbles into the […]
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Dark Angel
Oh, well. At least it’s finally available on Blu-ray, so I can ditch the MGM burned-on-demand DVD (an overdue 2011 release that finally allowed me to ditch my VHS — Google it, kids). Any Dolph Lundgren fan worth his weight in protein powder knows how welcome this high-def release from Shout! Factory is. In a […]
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Errors of the Human Body
Fresh from relishing villainy in The Call, the near-unrecognizable Michael Eklund cleans up nice as Dr. Geoffrey Burton, a reluctant geneticist specializing in embryonic abnormalities for very personal reasons. He leaves the University of Massachusetts behind to continue his controversial research in Dresden, Germany — a far less-politicized environment. But Eron Sheean’s film is not […]
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Beast master
Max Ogan — or Maximus, as he likes to be called — is surrounded by giant monsters and giant robots in his Plaza District studio, Bomb Shelter, but he’s not running for cover or summoning twin fairies for help. It’s all part of his latest exhibition, Machines vs. Monsters: Final Wars, his tribute to kaiju, […]