Based on the novel by early 19th-century journalist Thomas De Quincy (whom Price plays), the film from notorious schlock director Albert Zugsmith (Sex Kittens Go to College) is, to put it bluntly, nonsense. Should you choose to embrace that nonsense, you’ll be greeted with lots of falling bodies (including a bird), Asian women as slaves, […]
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The Girl
Premiering Saturday, The Girl is the first of two high-profile biopics of the master filmmaker to hit screens this season. The other, simply titled Hitchcock, is a larger-budget feature with a whiff of Oscar bait, yet there’s room enough for both. While that forthcoming film focuses on the making of 1960’s Psycho, The Girl concerns […]
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The Tortured
That said, I’m a big boy. I can take it. That’s my way of saying I kind of dug the evil game it plays, mammoth faults and all, because how often does that happen? Having a child kidnapped is something I hope never to experience, yet that’s the premise behind this nasty little thriller, which […]
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Spooky scribes
If Alice thought Wonderland was bad, then Zombieland would have had her begging to be hassled by a disgruntled patch of daisies again. Author Gena Showalter’s new series, The White Rabbit Chronicles, begins with Alice in Zombieland, a novel based on Lewis Carroll’s adventurous heroine. Showalter, an Oklahoma City native, is the best-selling author of […]
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You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma (by doin’ everything that moves)
Credit: Brad Gregg You know, do it. That’s according to a study conducted by the surprisingly statistics-friendly dating site SeekingArrangement.com. The pole found — oh, excuse us, that’s “poll” — that Oklahoma City is the fourth most promiscuous city in the country. We hit this proud spot because 64 percent of wealthy men in town […]
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Rock of Ages
Taking place in the hair-metal heyday of 1987, Rock of Ages jumps from Broadway to the big screen, and lands on its face with a thud. If it’s not the year’s most misbegotten big-studio project, I don’t wish to be exposed to what is. Talking and singing in a baby voice akin to nails on […]
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Back from Hell
Presented as four days of a taped holiday — because apparently, that’s what young people do — the movie follows a handful of pals who vacay together, screw around with a Ouija board and eat shish kabob outdoors. In other words, not a Hell of a lot happens beyond the occasional person screaming from outside. […]
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Chained
After catching a movie, a woman (Julia Ormond, TV’s Mad Men) and her young son (Evan Bird, TV’s The Killing) take a cab to get home, but the cabbie isn’t really a cabbie. He’s Bob (Vincent D’Onofrio, Full Metal Jacket), a lisping serial killer of “whores.” Bob offs the mom, but keeps the kid as […]
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Dark Shadows
Sporting spindly fingers à la 1922’s Nosferatu, Johnny Depp’s 18th-century vampire character of Barnabas Collins rises from the grave in 1972 where he’s puzzled by the high-tech times of television sets and breakfast waffles. He settles in with his descendants at their dreary Collinwood mansion, headed by matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer, who gets lovelier each […]
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Iron Sky
The Nazis mistake the landing as a prelude to an invasion, so the Third Reich prepares to strike the earth before the earth can strike it. Iron Sky has all the makings of a big batch of poor taste. Instead, it’s an inspired goof of a spoof that bridges the worlds of highbrow and lowbrow […]