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Femme Fatales: The Complete Second Season

This second batch of episodes, 12 in all on two DVDs, seems more confident than Femme‘s freshman outing, even if story quality remains wildly varied. Tanit Phoenix (Safe House) hosts the proceedings, with scenarios that include: • a comic-book heroine, • time-traveling clones, • noir-drenched detectives • and so much moaning. For every leaden dud […]

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Parker

Based on Parker novel No. 19, Flashfire, the film puts Expendables team member Jason Statham in a role previously played by, among others, Mel Gibson in Payback, Robert Duvall in The Outfit and even Jim Brown in The Split. Parker is a criminal, but the “good” kind: He doesn’t steal from those who can’t afford […]

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Mold!

Opening with President Reagan’s infamous crack speech, the 1984-set Mold! unfolds in a secret facility deep within the Arizona desert. Scientists there have spent two years of funding on developing a strain of mold (they call it “stacky mort” to shorten its long, boring name) as an ecological weapon to destroy the Colombians’ drug fields […]

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Save the Date

Not quite a pure drama, not quite a pure comedy, the scrappy charmer also is a love triangle sharing a point with a love rectangle, both hinging on Sarah (Lizzy Caplan, Bachelorette), an artist and bookstore manager who takes the plunge by moving in with her rocker boyfriend, Kevin (Geoffrey Arend, Devil), but bails when […]

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Stitches

The title refers to the booze-soaked, foul-mouthed, likely STD-infected clown (British stand-up comedian Ross Noble) who meets an early, accidental demise while performing at an only child’s 10th birthday party. Because that’s what happens when kids tie your shoelaces together, causing you to trip and fall face-first into the butcher knife left precariously pointing upward […]

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The Frozen

Mike knows Emma isn’t thrilled about the trip. What he doesn’t know is that she’s just found out she’s pregnant. That’s an issue they can deal with later, however; more pressing is that their snowmobile crashes, leaving them injured and no cell signal to call for help. Plus, it appears they are being followed. It’s […]

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Big Tits Zombie

But I’ll give you several dozen more. Aoi plays Lena Jodo, the illiterate, chain-saw-wielding stripper heroine at the center of this unapologetic celebration of arterial spray and areola. As her club is being shut down, she and her fellow entertainers … wait, what’s that? I’m boring you? Apologies. How’s this instead: an old Asian midget, […]

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The Apparition

This is the real estate conundrum vexing the cute couple at the tell-tale heart of The Apparition, Ben (Sebastian Stan, Captain America: The First Avenger) and Kelly (Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga). It’s all because, unbeknownst to his beaut beau, Ben took active part in a paranormal psychology experiment headed by a fellow student (Tom […]

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The Phynx

To review the movie, I need only tell you what it’s about. The dictator of communist Albania has swiped dozens of United States “world leaders,” including Butterfly McQueen, Johnny Weismuller, Maureen O’Sullivan, Dorothy Lamour, Xavier Cugat, Col. Sanders, Busby Berkeley, the Bowery Boys, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy. (Mind you, all of them appear as […]

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