Former Flash Gordon Sam Jones plays another Sunday-funnies superstar as The Spirit, the crime fighter formerly known as square-jawed, straight-and-narrow cop Denny Colt. When he’s shot by a baddie and presumed dead, Denny takes advantage of the situation by donning the teeny-tiniest of blue masks to disguise his identity as The Spirit, who sets about […]
Rod Lott
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Abducted
But crap happens, and while being all cute and cuddly in L.A.’s famed Griffith Park, the happy couple is darted from afar and drugged into a state of unconsciousness. They awake in a dingy cell looking not unlike the basement from the original Saw. Something’s up and yet, something else is up, because whoever their […]
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Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Unlike its predecessors, Bad Grandpa attempts the franchise’s most daring stunt of all: telling a story. But only barely; while the narrative here serves its purpose — as a framework for a succession of Borat-style bad-taste bits — it is as minimal as allowed. That it also is the funniest film of the year (until […]
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Resolution
Resembling Wolfman Jack as a hobo, Chris refuses. With the help of a taser and handcuffs that attach to a pipe running along the exposed wall, Michael puts Chris on an involuntary, seven-day detox. As his friend experiences withdrawal, Michael comes across some tweakers and members of a religious fringe group, but these weird people […]
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All Hallows’ Eve / Chilling Visions: 5 Senses of Fear
Like many a great ‘ween tale, the dirt-cheap All Hallows’ Eve opens with a babysitter and her young charges, one of whom got a little something extra dropped into his sack of candy: an unlabeled VHS tape. Because the household still has a VHS player, the sitter (Katie Maguire) is able to view the cassette’s […]
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Queerbait
Of all things, the VHS tape is in the midst of a nostalgic resurgence. Not only does the dead medium of the 1980s enjoy having a horror-anthology franchise named after it, but no fewer than three new documentaries celebrate its heyday, and a few indie labels have issued limited-edition releases on bulky cassettes rather than […]
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Pacific Rim
I realize this unpopular stance puts me at odds with fervid fanboys nationwide who all but wet their pants over the film this summer, but that’s OK — it’s hardly the first time. I, too, would have loved this movie at the age of 8 … unfortunately, a few decades have passed. A mere seven […]
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Maniac
That’s not to say this update isn’t gory — oh, boy, is it ever — but it has a style the first film sorely lacked. Admittedly, Lustig had little budget to work with back then, whereas P2 helmer Franck Khalfoun enjoyed a $6 million sandbox, now clumped with blood. Playing aggressively against his nice-guy rep, former […]
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Horror Stories
Like all good anthologies, a wraparound story takes a stab at clumsy cohesion. Here, Arabian Nights-style, an abducted schoolgirl must tell her captor stories to stay alive. The best comes first with “Don’t Answer the Door,” in which a two young siblings awaiting Mom’s arrival home find their apartment infiltrated by … wait and see. […]
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Static
Marrieds Jonathan and Addie Dade (respectively, Kiss of the Damned‘s Milo Ventimiglia and Bullet to the Head‘s Sarah Shahi) know this, yet answer the door anyway. There stands a young woman in distress (Sara Paxton, The Innkeepers) who says her car broke down and now is being pursued by men in gas masks. It’s a whale […]