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Don’t you think it’s time you toned down your manic aspirations? Aren’t you curious about the sweet, sensitive success that could be yours if only you got really calm and peaceful? Wouldn’t it be interesting to explore the more manageable opportunities that might become available by accepting your limitations with humble equanimity? APRIL FOOL! Don’t […]

I predict that sometime soon you will time-travel to 2012 and then return to the present.  While on your journey, you’ll learn the outcome of three major sports events that will happen between now and then. This knowledge will eventually help you win large bets that earn you millions of dollars. APRIL FOOL! I lied. […]

Sometime in the next week, the spirits of Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce, John the Baptist, and Jean-Paul Sartre will come to you in a vision to tell you how to prosper during the coming Great Depression. With their expert tips you will spend the years 2010-2013 safe and sound and well-fed in a gated community while […]

Some of the best-selling Japanese novels in recent years have been composed by young authors entirely on their cell phones. The small screens encourage narratives that are animated by terse rhythms. Flowery descriptions are rare and character development happens fast. I believe that in the coming weeks you will have a capacity akin to the […]

“Though the seas threaten, they are merciful,” says Ferdinand, a character in Shakespeare’s play The Tempest. “I have cursed them without cause.” Please consider the possibility that you could honestly make a similar declaration about some influence in your world. What’s wild but mostly beneficent? What’s primal in a way that draws you back to […]

Among medieval alchemists, there were some who tried to make a fortune by literally converting lead into gold. But the authentic practitioners of the art were interested in a subtler kind of experimentation: ripening and beautifying the shadowy aspects of their own psyches. That explains their motto: “For a tree’s branches to reach to heaven, […]

“Dear Rob Brezsny: I really didn’t like a recent horoscope you wrote for me. I’m a Leo, and although your oracle was sort of true, I didn’t want it to be true, and furthermore I didn’t want to lend my belief energy to help make it true. So I went hunting among the other signs, […]

After extensive analysis, I’ve concluded that you won’t serve any time in hell for the shock therapy you’ll unleash this week — with one caveat: The shock therapy must be motivated primarily by love, not a lust for power. My research also suggests that in dropping your bombshells you may even rack up some karmic […]

No one really knows when the Piscean Age ends and the Aquarian Age begins. Astrologers have been arguing about the issue for years. But here’s what to watch for: When the transition gets underway, fewer and fewer people will be invested in belief systems, and an ever-growing contingent will thrive on asking questions and keeping […]

Study the following terms: refuge, sanctuary, bunker, asylum, fortress, haven, shelter, safety zone, storm cellar, hideaway, retreat, halfway house, cloister, cell, ashram, clubhouse, lair, foxhole, nest, pit, inner sanctum. Now use some of those words to formulate descriptions of actions you’ll take to enhance both your freedom and security. Example: “When I’m longing for privacy […]