It’s a scenario worthy of The Wire, except with, you know, way more actual wires. Oklahoma City utilities officials and police officers are, according to a report by KOCO anchor Evan Onstot, “pulling their hair out” over what mayor David Holt called an “epidemic” of copper wiring theft that has disabled streetlights along sections of […]
Chicken-Fried News
Chicken-Fried News
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Chicken-Fried News: Icarus Exotic
In the pantheon of weird Oklahoma news, no one has flown higher than Joseph Allen Maldonando-Passage — the man most everyone knows as Joe Exotic — the openly gay Libertarian presidential and gubernatorial candidate who founded the Wynnewood zoo famous for allowing guests to play with lion-tiger hybrid cubs. Exotic’s unique persona has led to […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Boys clubbing
A state representative’s first week of the legislative session was bogged down by sexism. In the sea of white affluent men that is the Oklahoma Capitol, Chicken-Fried News is disappointed but not terribly surprised. State Rep. Kelly Albright ran a successful campaign and beat her Republican opponent by about 5 percent of the vote, but […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Poo lagoon
According to no less an authority than urbandictionary.com user The Mad Shitter, an “upper decker” is “the act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet” so that “when the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of [excrement].” The town of Carlton Landing has been pulling a large-scale variation […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Open arms
In a series of events that once again prove that pretty much every national conversation can be tied back to Oklahoma, it was revealed last week that the tiny Porter Consolidated School district is at least partly responsible for that brief few weeks when it looked like the federal government might spend money to arm […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Cab death
There are few businesses and buildings left in Oklahoma City from the 1930s, thanks to overeager city planners during urban renewal. The latest venerable loss for the city was not by way of bulldozer, but rather with the unlocking of a cell phone. After 75 years in business, Yellow Cab Co. of Oklahoma abruptly announced […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Road dread
If Gov. Kevin “Oklahoma is open for business” Stitt is the manager of our government’s metaphorical Kmart (hey, we gotta start somewhere), somebody should tell him we need major cleanup on aisle number All of Them. On March 17, Chicken-Fried News’ arch beer pong rival The Oklahoman published a report on the lousy conditions of […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Hail and high water
If you do not want every local meteorologist, highway patrol troopers and even The Weather Channel to call you out, stay out from under overpasses during storms. If you are not familiar with the trend, during storms – particularly with hail – people think it is a good idea to wait it out by parking […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Bad boys
Two years after Tulsa Police Department (TPD) cut ties with a Cops-esque reality show, Oklahoma Highway Patrol is stepping in for its close-up. Oklahoma Department of Public Safety signed an agreement with Big Fish Entertainment that will last through 2020, with an opportunity to extend the deal for a second year. OHP troopers in Tulsa […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Tulsa drift
The Fast and the Furious became one of the highest grossing film franchises in history as Dominic Toretto’s “family” turned from small-scale criminals into globetrotting thieves capable of superhuman feats, but its aims were much more small-scale. Perhaps a man in Tulsa watched too many of the films and wanted to create his own version […]