How would you describe yourself as a musician?
I would say that I am sort of an ADHD musician, if I’m being honest. I’m primarily a bass player –– both classical and jazz –– and also an electric player playing jazz and pop music, and sort of anything that would have a bass guitar. I am also really drawn to the sounds of cello and the piano; I love it a lot. I love guitar. I played a little bit of shoulder string instruments in high school. Now that I’m teaching band, I’m learning all the brass instruments and woodwind instruments.
For me, there’s lots of beauty in variety. I think that’s partly because I’m a composer as well. Because I can’t physically play all of the instruments at a virtuosic level, I like to write the range for larger groups.
Could you tell me more about your work composing?
Composing is, I think, my primary talent, if you can say that. I love weaving emotional content out of the different sounds you can get with different instruments and vocal combinations. The biggest thing I have been working on is my opera, “The Burning,” which is about the Tulsa Race Massacre. Being able to write both the words and the musical content, it’s a journey into what type of relevant stories I can weave out of the words, sounds, and emotions. It’s a giant open world puzzle that I get to construct, and the more I delve into that the more I start to learn about myself.
What pulls you to music as a medium for investigating difficult topics or emotions?
Learning what type of people would commit that level of violence, is one of the main things that I wanted to kind of glean in my research for “The Burning.” What type of person does it take to burn another community down? What type of person does it take to believe that they have to be better than other people? I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. But, through the music I was able to contend with a lot of those themes within myself. What type of darkness do I have? Who am I? It’s a huge question. Music was a way for me to access those emotions because, as a man, you’re told to sand off your emotions in order to be seen as a man within society. Music was a safe way for me to access those emotional spaces and allowed me to be completely human.
Do you bring this thought process and philosophy to your students?
That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to get back into education in this capacity. It took about 33 years for me to really feel like I belonged on this earth. I mean, my parents did the best that they could, and I have a really great professional support system in the music community. But, no one taught me how to contend with the inherent insecurity that comes with being alive, and the bravado of having to be the best. At the end of the day, there are other musicians that are always going to be better than me. But, what matters most is: Can I accept the level of musician and composer that I am now?
How did you first find music?
I found it in church first. From an early age, I was immersed in the sounds of what we would consider the Western classical tradition, that was the training ground for my ears. Then, when I started playing music in sixth grade, I was able to put those familiar sounds to note names. As I got to playing bass, it was more of an expression based off of the information that I gathered from church every Sunday. It was really just about the joy of making music with my friends.
How has the Oklahoma City community and music scene shaped your experience?
I feel like there’s a renaissance going on with the amount of music that’s being made. I’m actually trying to put something on the ground with friends, people who are community-minded and want to be playing music for ourselves. We’re really trying to, within that same spirit of community, to build it. Right now we are called the Electron Cloud Orchestra. It’s definitely some of the greatest Oklahoma City metro area music minds coming together, a lot of people that I’ve grown up with, look up to, and just respect musically. We’re seeing how we can connect with different communities in Oklahoma City through our music, and I think that we’re going to be launching something that Oklahoma City is going to really respond to.
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This article appears in deadCENTER Film Festival returns.