Oh, it’s a chain saw? Never mind. According to a KFOR-TV report, a man in Chickasha got caught trying to steal an Echo brand chain saw from Ross Seed Company by stuffing it down his britches. (No word if the chain was attached.)
Anthony Darren Black, 21, is who police allege to be the pilferer of said tool and also a dog collar. Two Ross employees noticed the would-be Leatherface walking, well, sorta funny.
“I felt sorry for him,” Richard Largent told KFOR. “I thought the gentleman was crippled.”
George Graham wasn’t falling for Black’s “My Left Foot” impression, telling the station, “I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants.”
Oh, imagining it I am. Which is why I’m happy to see you.
This article appears in Mar 2-8, 2011.