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This Means War

• that a woman as beautiful as Reese Witherspoon can’t meet a guy;• conversely, that a man as handsome as Tom Hardy can’t meet a girl;• that Reese’s character would come to date Tom and Chris Pine — CIA partners — at once;• that video stores remain hotbeds of activity;• that Chelsea Handler is hysterical;• […]

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The Awakening

OK, to be honest, I kind of loved it. Based on arguably Bram Stoker’s second most famous novel, 1903’s The Jewel of Seven Stars, the movie casts Charlton Heston (Soylent Green) as Matthew Corbeck, just the kind of greedy, selfish archaeologist who unearths warnings of evil to be loosed upon the world, yet digs anyway. […]

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A Necessary Death

After 22 minutes of auditioning and logistics, Toma and team get down to business with their chosen “star,” Matt, a young British man who would prefer to kill himself before the fatal brain tumor he has reaches the unavoidable stage of unbearable pain. We watch as Toma films Matt talking to the camera about his […]

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Goon

This he-man display earns Doug a tryout for the Massachusetts farm team Orangetown Assassins. So what if he barely can skate? Donning a No. 69 jersey and the nickname of “The Thug,” Doug is quickly sent to an actual league, the Halifax Highlanders of Nova Scotia. Based on a true story, Goon aims to be […]

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Mutant Girls Squad

It’s told “relay”-style, with one of three directors each taking on a different chapter, although you can’t really tell: Tak Sakaguchi, (Yakuza Weapon), Yoshihiro Nishimura (Helldriver) and Noboru Iguchi (Karate-Robo Zaborgar). That three cooks are stirring the pot matters as much as the plot, which is minimal — at least a lucid one. Just know […]

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Racing Dreams

It’s not the go-kart you once rode up and down your driveway. These no-suspension, sponsor-stickered mini stock cars reach speeds of 80 miles per hour as they circle the track, their drivers’ rears a mere inch off the ground. “What kind of parents would let their kids go that fast when they’re not even old […]

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Act of Valor

SOC Dave (whoever he may be) serves as our marble-mouthed narrator and member of the team led by Lt. Rorke (also whoever he may be). Partly shot in Bruckheimer burnt orange, their missions take them around the globe, first to rescue a comely CIA agent (Roselyn Sanchez, The Game Plan, Rush Hour 2) who’s been […]

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Perfect Sense

Spread director David Mackenzie’s movie imagines a new disease in which victims inexplicably become overwhelmed with grief, then lose their sense of smell entirely. While not thought to be contagious, the threat is so unfamiliar that the public overreacts, anyway. Meeting in the midst of this madness are epidemiologist Susan (Eva Green, Dark Shadows, Cracks, […]

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The Deep Blue Sea

Viewers have five chances to see last year’s The Deep Blue Sea this weekend at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. Don’t confuse it with Deep Blue Sea, the 1999 action movie about sharks. Based on a stage play, this is the film that could use some sharks. Written and directed by Terence Davies — […]

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