Chicken-Fried News knows what it’s like to be deprived of a frosty one. At the close of business on Friday, the CFN News Team marches downstairs to our walk-in cooler to grab some cold comfort to celebrate another week of snarking. One can only imagine the great gnashing of teeth, rending of garments and indignant […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Airplane drunk
In Oklahoma City, we tend to arrest drunk people on the ground. They’ve had too much fun in Classen Curve, are out for a big night downtown or have put away too many and wandered out of the alcohol zone with a drink in their hands at a festival. They usually don’t come from the […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Okie limeades
Oklahoma news that almost broke the internet this week was the sale of Oklahoma headquartered company Sonic. Before Oklahomans could process the breakup, but details emerged and it was thankfully determined that while the company was, in fact, sold to Arby’s and Buffalo Wild Wings macho parent company Inspire Brands for $2.3 billion, the fast […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Debbie Downer … debtor
Jim Gallogly recently snubbed University of Oklahoma (OU) administrators for being in the red and owing a whopping $1 billion in debt. “Our debt has more than doubled in the last 10 years, as we’ve been on a building campaign,” Gallogly said at an OU Board of Regents meeting over the summer. While Gallogly’s comments […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Okie singularity
Something as simple as how we get our groceries could make you realize that technological singularity — the moment at which artificial intelligence will surpass human intelligence — might be closer than we all realize. In the same week that Amazon added Oklahoma City as one of 10 new cities able to order deliveries from […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Exotic plot
It all makes sense now. Joe Exotic ran for governor of Oklahoma as a Libertarian, and while that political doctrine is oriented toward maximizing individual rights and minimizing the role of government in people’s lives, it has its limits. According to David Boaz’ Libertar-ianism: A Primer, a true libertarian believes that “each person has the […]
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Chicken-Fried News: ‘Mainstream’ fundraising
After country singer and The Voice judge/coach Blake Shelton spent the spring as an accidental mascot of the Oklahoma teacher walkout, Shelton will become an actual fundraising mascot for the state’s wildlife conservation effort. In April, an Ada elementary school student gained attention for finding that she shared a textbook that was used by Shelton […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Ol’ Nelly
Remember the time that one Yankee asked if you rode your horse to school when you told him you were from Oklahoma? You laughed it off, rolled your eyes and secretly dubbed him an idiot for so willingly accepting stereotypes as truth. Well, Chicken-Fried News just met the guy who gave that guy something to […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Disgraceful allegiance
In a series of tweets and interviews following U.S. Sen. John McCain’s death on Aug. 25, U.S. Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) praised McCain and called him his hero. While that might be true, Inhofe also made it clear that no one, not even his hero, could get away with challenging his seemingly favorite president ever, […]
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Chicken-Fried News: Runoff memory
The success of the “remember in November” rallying cry by Oklahoma education supporters that began in primary elections continued during last week’s runoffs as six of the seven incumbents that voted against the teacher pay raise during 2018’s Legislative system lost. After April’s teacher walkout failed to secure an increase in school funding, education organizers […]