The great William Atherton, the reigning sleazeball of ’80s movies from Ghostbusters to Die Hard, plays a greedy developer breaking ground on a premiere beach club and spa near the New Jersey boardwalk. The underwater drilling — illegal, of course — unleashes a school of CGI albino sharks, just in time for the big Fourth […]
horror
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Penumbra
That sounds too good to be true, but stranger things have happened on the day of a total solar eclipse. And they will. Too bad Penumbra takes a full 51 minutes of its 90 to get near there. Only then does the Argentinian film approach any plot points that reveal themselves as thriller-esque. Before then […]
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Lovely Molly
The film opens with a deeply distraught Molly (newcomer Gretchen Lodge, in a fearless, go-for-broke debut) recording herself on Oct. 16, 2011, saying, “Whatever has happened, it wasn’t me.” Immediately, we jump back to “whatever.” Married just 13 months earlier, mall janitor Molly and her level-headed truck-driver hubby, Tim (Johnny Lewis, TV’s Sons of Anarchy), […]
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ParaNorman
But while Coraline sustained a masterful level of Grimm-like creepiness, ParaNorman is only fitfully brilliant. The premise is promising. Eleven-year-old Norman Babcock (voiced by Kodi Smit-McPhee, Let Me In) has a familiar problem: He sees dead people. Lots of ’em, actually, which makes him something of a pariah in the hamlet of Blithe Hollow, Mass. […]
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Kill List
The less you know beforehand, the better, but know that Jay (Neil Maskell, Atonement, Doghouse) is stricken by immense stress. Struggling under the grips of the recession has placed his marriage to Shel (MyAnna Buring, The Descent, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1) on shaky ground, and their verbal disagreements dampen the spirits […]
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Girls Gone Dead
In a case of having cake and eating it, too, one thoroughly repellent character refers to women as, among other things, “fish buckets,” “dumb twits” and “meat holes.” When he’s not referring to them as a whole, he zeroes in on certain parts of their anatomy, which he pegs as “piss flaps.” And yes, the […]
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Steve Niles’ Remains
Making Reno, Nev., look like a miserable stinkhole of a city — and that’s even before any undead show up — Remains focuses on the dozens of denizens who play and work in the Silver Star Hotel and Casino. When a government test of a new “nuke oven” goes awry, everyone who’s not, say, having […]
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Twins of Evil
At the quaint European village of Karnstein arrive identical twin sisters Maria and Frieda Gellhorn (real-life sibs and 1970 Playboy centerfolds Mary and Madeleine Collinson). Newly orphaned, the beautiful young women come from Venice to live with their Aunt Katy (Kathleen Byron, The Elephant Man) and Uncle Gustav (the legendary Peter Cushing). Upon seeing them […]
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Casting the Runes
Those working on a TV special on the history of witchcraft have peculiar run-ins with a mysterious, reclusive alchemist known as Karswell (Iain Cuthbertson, Gorillas in the Mist), a man who openly espouses lust, deviance and all-around evil. When one character recalls a co-worker’s fatal brush with Karswell (depicted in the prologue) and says that […]
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Zoom In: Sex Apartments
The 1980 Japanese film is part of Impulse Pictures’ “Nikkatsu Erotic Films Collection,” which would equate to a hard-R rating here. While nudity is often, it’s all above-the-belt, frontally speaking, and this work in particular is like a Skinemax flick with an actual plot, and where sex is integral to the story. Well, sorta. That […]