Opening with a disclaimer that the producers have no memory of making the motion picture, the indie feature obviously revels in that era of exploitation, immediately passing itself off as a ’70s no-budget, B-horror pic as authentically as it can: heavily embedded grain and scratches, a couple of “SHOT MISSING” frames, reel-to-reel tape decks, lava […]
horror
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Don’t Go in the Woods
The first feature as director for longtime fine actor Vincent D’Onofrio (Kill the Irishman), Woods is as ambling as the five young musicians — one of whom is blind — who drive their van to a forest for a songwriting retreat, where the following things are not allowed: booze, drugs, girls, phones and common sense. That […]
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Sector 7
Also reminiscent of everything from James Cameron’s The Abyss to Stephen Sommers’ Deep Rising, but with multiple mentions of feng shui, the Korean sci-fi film takes place on a real-life ocean drilling rig, where work is on hold due to a stuck drill bit. Nevertheless, tough girl Ha Ji-won (Tidal Wave) is determined to find […]
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Monster Brawl
If the answer is “yes,” then the feature film Monster Brawl was made for you. If you let it, watching it can be a ball. Just know going in it offers neither plot nor story — it’s a series of bouts in the ring, pure and simple, with eight monstrosities summoned from around the globe […]
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42nd Street Forever: Blu-ray Edition
That adds up to nearly four hours of absolutely outrageous ads. Trust me: Whether you watch in a single sitting or several, it’s a real car-chasing, cycle-revving, bomb-exploding, fist-punching, karate-chopping, foot-kicking, gun-shooting, knife-throwing, laser-blasting, woman-screaming, race-baiting, acid-pouring, eye-gouging, head-chopping, phallus-castrating, breast-squeezing, bed-writhing, succubus-sucking, wrist-tying, drug-injecting, butt-whipping, panty-ripping, bikini-filling, disco-dancing, jail-busting, snake-attacking, robot-battling, voodoo-pinning, slime-invading, dominatrix-singing, […]
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The Awakening
OK, to be honest, I kind of loved it. Based on arguably Bram Stoker’s second most famous novel, 1903’s The Jewel of Seven Stars, the movie casts Charlton Heston (Soylent Green) as Matthew Corbeck, just the kind of greedy, selfish archaeologist who unearths warnings of evil to be loosed upon the world, yet digs anyway. […]
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Rogue River / The Collapsed
I’ve seen enough Rob Zombie movies to know that you never should accept a ride from Bill Moseley, no matter how genuine his “aw, shucks” demeanor seems. Young Mara (unknown Michelle Page) either didn’t know this, or was simply too caught up trying to spread her deceased father’s ashes at the Rogue River. With her […]
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The Wizard of Gore / The Gore Gore Girls
The Wizard of Gore may not be among Lewis’ best, but it’s one of his most notorious. The title character is Montag the Magnificent (Lewis regular Ray Sager), a stage magician who maims and dismembers his hypnotized female “volunteers,” who leave appearing A-OK, only for their wounds to reappear later, this time fatally. Sherry Carson […]
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Death and Cremation
One of the outcasts is the lonely, miserable Stan (Brad Dourif, Halloween II), who runs a crematorium. The other is Jarod (Jeremy Sumpter, Soul Surfer), a high school “loser” who paints his nails black. When the latter approaches the former about a job, Stan reluctantly gives in, yet sees so much of himself in his […]
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Underworld: Awakening
This chapter finds a virus loosed on the public that turns them into vampires and lycans upon infection. With no cure in sight, martial law has been declared, with a “mass cleansing” immediately following. Amid this chaos, vampire super heroine Selene (Beckinsale, Contraband, Whiteout) is captured, only to awaken in and escape from a high-security […]