The effort he gives Beneath makes the Chiller Films presentation better than your average made-for-TV monster movie — or below-average, in the recent case of Hypothermia, a similar film in which Fessenden appeared. To the teens of Beneath stranded on a boat in the supposedly cursed Black Lake, a killer fish provides the fatal threat — not a […]
Syfy
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Detective in underpants
Many of us were concerned when Andy Samberg retired from Saturday Night Live last spring. Would the comic genius get trapped in more forgettable movies like Hot Rod, then disappear? We needn’t have worried. Samberg stars in Brooklyn Nine- Nine, a single-camera sitcom that perfectly showcases his talent (Tuesday, 7:30 p.m., Fox). He plays hotshot detective Jake Peralta, who […]
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The Philadelphia Experiment
Based on the 1984 sci-fi movie of the same name, this made-for-Syfy version doesn’t improve upon the premise of scientists cracking invisibility. Again, it has terrible consequences — namely, a World War II destroyer ship suddenly transported to a modern-day runway. Holy Battleship! Coffee barista Molly (Emilie Ullerup, TV’s Sanctuary) worries when her cop boyfriend […]
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Flash Gordon: The Complete Series
Now that I’ve seen its long-delayed DVD set from Mill Creek Entertainment, I can say that, to my surprise, it’s not. Oh, it’s still not “good,” but it’s watchable in a minimal-investment, entertainment-as-wallpaper way. The first step for interested parties is to remove any hopes that this small-screen Flash Gordon will be anything like the […]
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Lake Placid: The Final Chapter
I’m so kidding. However, it appears to pick up from where LP3 left off — I haven’t seen it — with crocodile hunter Reba (Yancy Butler, Shark Week) surviving a tussle with a giant croc … only to have it not be as dead as she first thought. “You again? You really wanna do this?” […]
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Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft
Another: H&G: WOW is directed by David DeCoteau, whose dirt-cheap filmography includes 1313: Giant Killer Bees! (exclamation theirs), Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000 and the forthcoming A Talking Cat!?! (exclamations and question mark theirs). In this flaccid effort, Hansel and Gretel Jonah and Ella (real-life sibs Booboo and Fivel Stewart, respectively) play orphan […]
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It’s a TV-on-DVD fall frenzy!
The Walking Dead: The Complete Second Season Now that the third season has started, I guess we’ll know soon enough, but The Walking Dead must figure out a way to deliver a consistent season. It delivers awesome season openers and closers, but the ones in between can be maddening; they can take several episodes to […]
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Bigfoot
Personally, the morbid-curiosity draw isn’t seeing the giant hairy beast, but watching The Brady Bunch’s Barry Williams square off against The Partridge Family’s Danny Bonaduce. Not since ’80s pop tarts Tiffany and Debbie Gibson matched wits in Mega Python vs. Gatoroid has The Asylum’s casting been this interesting. Williams plays a former rock star turned […]
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Shark Week
Patriot Games‘ Patrick Bergin is Tiberon (get it?), a madman who clutches a pearl necklace, has Kick-Ass’ Yancy Butler draped on his arm, and channels John de Lancie. He’s collected these poor souls for reasons unbeknownst until the final five minutes; you can gather it’s for personal revenge. He forces them into his baby shark-infested […]
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Jersey Shore Shark Attack
The great William Atherton, the reigning sleazeball of ’80s movies from Ghostbusters to Die Hard, plays a greedy developer breaking ground on a premiere beach club and spa near the New Jersey boardwalk. The underwater drilling — illegal, of course — unleashes a school of CGI albino sharks, just in time for the big Fourth […]